This was something I had mentioned in a comment but thought I'd elaborate now that the day has come and gone, so might be time for an update..

I dont know why I get so nervous and anxious before having to go to MIL/ DH's aunts for Christmas Eve, knowing that its more than likely that SD was physically a no show once again as per usual.  Thats the thing, knowing that there is always a possibility that these Skids are out there and capable of turning up. Someway. Somehow. bullshit in tow.

Her Motto, if she does show, would have been unannounced and out of the blue. But didn't bother of course. Turns out decided to show up the next day when I wasnt around which is fine with me so MIL would be stuck dealing that circus. Sounds like a fun time ( not). I would literally rather watch paint dry.

Not like it stopped SD from calling MIL on Xmas Eve..again..right when DH and I were over there trying to visit. Its too much to ask to have that go without being interrupted. Every Damn Time..I swear the little bitch does have some kind of radar. She must. I was sitting right there next to  DH's aunt picked up the phone. No hi, or Merry Christmas..just demanded to speak to Grammyyyy . Not even bothering to speak with DH . She knew we were there   Maybe they spent time together the day before or that day while I was at work that morning, I didnt even ask or worry about that. I have yet to see if SD even got Dh so much as a card. I guess that remains to be seen and not even asking after that. 

I could tell on SD's end with her hyper out of control children that you would think there was a  literal circus going on. Better them dealing with that than me. 

The oh too well times interruptions with SD just inserting herself for no reason are annoying but I guess I have to consider that  a trade off if it meant I got out of having to be in the same room with her in person As long as that means she leaves me the hell alone. . At least there is that. But ..on Xmas Eve, I just kept socializing and laughing with others there as if SD hadnt called at all. Just ignored. I took a page out of the Book of Rags to be as radiant and joyful as possible..not dimming my light to pay attention to SD, Let her hear me being so happy without a care in the world to give to her. 

Still and all...It is The very thought of the possibility of having to engage with her and put on a performance that I no longer have the energy to give...because I am beyond pretending so there is no use. Just awkward situation all around. 

.  After how christmas Eve turned out..do you think i . feel guilty for refusing to go out of my way to make the Holidays ( and her life) comfortable and magical for her benefit. I have to ask myself as to why I ever felt I had to to twist myself around and revolve my own holiday plans to satisfy broken dysfunctional and delusional people like my SD30 who has shown me once again that she really doesnt give much more of shit either.? 

Please tell me what the etiquette for having to play nice to an SD whom you learned got busted for involvement in a prositution ring anyway? Yet reacts by blaming and involving other people who had zilch to do with that situation. Then in classic professional victim status; also has the gall to turn around to try to make it like I am the one with problems ( I am showing "my true colors" in being "judgmental"  because I am not giving her the whole Atta Girl and kudos for her career choice pursuing the sex worker industry including managing an Only Fans account ( another story) 

Basically, just because SD has very little to no shame about her career path, then everyone else, namely ME has to find that acceptable too..and I am the problem because I dont agree. 

What am I supposed to say to that?  Umm Congratulations? Its like she wants a medal since she is great at trying to be the martyr and the victim. like she deserves praise. Tell me,,how the hell does anyone in their right mind expect me to come back from that and explain that away ( as in sweeping it under the rug) Pretending like  I think her choices are just acceptable and totally normal.   Whatever, Im fine with MIL anyone else to throw her a literal pity party or an effing parade in honor of her "accomplishment" if they like. They can frame her smug ass mugshot and hang it up with the other family photos too.   i Just dont expect me to jump in on it.  

No way am I willing to sugar coat that nonsense. If anyone wants anything sugar coated, they were going to have to choke down some Christmas cookies instead of looking to me. Done done and done. 

Im shocked SD didnt throw one just to pat herself on the back and also to feel sorry for herself to  garner sympathy . This woman legit seriously urged me to watch the Client List " to help me understand"  Pretty much, like hey..this is what I do for a living, check it out. As if she wasnt using a work of fiction to try to persuade me as if Im too stupid to know the difference. Surprised she didnt insist on assigning me to watch "Pretty Woman" too while she was at it. Is she recruiting or something? 

Lets also not mention how she ended the exchange ( all in cap letters) IDC IDC telling her to pretend she doesnt exist and she will stay far far away..then digitially hung up ( blocked me) and that still remains? How the hell is one supposed to pretend to play Happy family with someone after that? How do you come back from that????? Doest mean she wont be expect it. 

Then she cant grasp for the life of her why I refuse to "grow" with her after that. This troubled young woman needs to grow herself a life , maybe at least a legal JOB, or to grow a sense of decency  . 

And, as you can guess, this is far from the first conflict and situation I have endured with her in the last 17 years since we first met. 

So please tell me..Why on this earth am I supposed to care about whether or not my Christmas plans  ( or for my life  overall) has to involve  catering to one single whim of a person like this..let alone let her dictate anything?   

Its funny how she comes at me for thinking I am "too good" to support her choice of occupation. I typically dont go around thinking my shit dont stink or that Im better than anyone. 

I would like to think that exchanging sexual favors for money, then getting busted SHould be one thing, if nothing else, that I very well should think I am too good for!  Any halfway decent person  should want to Be Better than that...not in SDs world apparently, which all turned on its head anyway . Seems like in her delusional little world, we should all be so proud of her for her endeavors. Its enough to make me want to puke.