Feel really irritated already and he's only been here a few hours! Perhaps I'm getting worse the less we see him as he keeps skipping visits I'm less used to it?

He's huge at 14, bigger than dh in every way. But mentally he comes down to dd8 level or lower.

I am cooking a Sunday dinner and they are all upstairs. Everything's fine until I ask dh to pop yo the shop. As soon as he's out the door loads of crashing laughing then shouting. Dd comes to tell me that ss called her a swear word. I said what did you do to him? Nevermind.

Goes and asked what she did. Dived on him. Right so you took no part in the playfight at all? 

Even so we don't use those words around here thank you very much , and you know that. 

Dh got back I said it all broke loose. He's like puff sigh I best take them both swimming or they will fight all day. 

I said oh that's right reward bad behaviour plus great idea as dd has been up half the night with a snuffle. He said I did tell ss that , that she might be overtired and silly today. I said well that makes it worse! He's totally gonna play on that now!

Do what you like dh, I'm staying out the way today I have plenty of chores to do.

Think ill keep doing that until he can figure a way to parent both children on his own 1 day a week. Maybe its selfish but goodness me I just took dd abroad a week on my own giving him a break, and I would never tolerate this level of silliness where things get damaged or broken.

I understand siblings can fight , but then I had a twin brother, we didn't get on but we didn't fight like this, we'd have had our heads put together ! I find it kinda gross a huge lad acting worse than his younger sister !