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Lifer33's Blog

Just ranting about finance

Lifer33's picture

Myself and dh have separate finances. He has always pleaded poverty above and beyond the bills. So I was under the impression he had very little left every month, and whatever was left of mine Is ours.

Subsequently I sort out our daughter's birthday and Christmas every year with no input from him. But he does manage ss and mine.

The other day he said that ss had asked for his birthday money early (November) and 300! This week.

Trivial I know but so annoyed !

Lifer33's picture

I have nothing to do with bm , mutual hatred.

Today I've been to see a consultant, awaiting not so great tests,  and ordered dd a food delivery for our return home.

Dh failed to clarify with ss whether he will be staying or not, assumed not.

Myself and dd arrived home and awaited her food delivery. So a car pulls up and I dutifully went to door/outside. To come face to face with ss and bm. Felt surprised, awkward, upset , she obviously felt the same!

Etc etc.

Is it awful to ask?

Lifer33's picture

I'm just pondering the current situation with ss. Although the Christmas holiday went relatively smoothly,  he pulled another vanishing act as soon as we returned.  Basically cried off all his contact for the 2nd week , including the grandparents visit with their envelopes of cash,  which I thought rude.

I find ss so immature

Lifer33's picture

Feel really irritated already and he's only been here a few hours! Perhaps I'm getting worse the less we see him as he keeps skipping visits I'm less used to it?

He's huge at 14, bigger than dh in every way. But mentally he comes down to dd8 level or lower.

I am cooking a Sunday dinner and they are all upstairs. Everything's fine until I ask dh to pop yo the shop. As soon as he's out the door loads of crashing laughing then shouting. Dd comes to tell me that ss called her a swear word. I said what did you do to him? Nevermind.

What to say to dd now

Lifer33's picture

I'm pretty disengaged with all that goes on with ss13 these days . so I don't often get bent out of shape. However I did feel a flush of anger and frustration for dh, but mainly dd 7 last night.

Ss bailed last minute on coming to stay,  again. This is becoming regular, weekly. But the notice is getting shorter,  and the bs excuses are leaning towards the permanent now.

Literally 15mins before he was due to be here ss texts dh 'is it OK if i don't come'

dh says not really we are waiting for you and we've made you dinner.

Why does he ask

Lifer33's picture

Do all dh do this ? Moan and seek advice then do nothing about it!

This is a text I sent to my friend ....

Dh ringing me when I'm in the shop, got 2 tins of paint in 1 hand basket in other n dd being a handful too. Only answered because it could be about his mum's illness!

I hate handover time

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Feel like I've got to watch the time in order to avoid bm. Yes there is no love lost and I do not want to see her. So normally it's blinds down stay out of the way.

Yesterday all of our neighbours and friends were having a water fight in the street. At quarter to the hr. I thought nope, I'm not leaving dd out here alone or missing the fun. So I stood on the opposite corner with a friend. Bm swung by to get ss. I swear she was craning her neck so hard I thought she was going to mount the kerb and hit my car!

Update on dance altercation

Lifer33's picture

I'm very grateful for the replies yesterday, kept me sane.

I went to attend the meeting yesterday, my plan was that dh attend with me as a witness. Sat in carpark and the dance lead is ringing me that she's seen I'm here and is ready. I said oh dh not here yet?

Well he can stay with dd. That curveballed me I didn't want to appear antagonistic so just followed.  Taken to a meeting room in a different building, was introduced to a woman I've never met , a safeguarding lead from head office! Sorry what? Its because the event took place in front of children.

OT unsure what to do or say

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So it wasn't my finest hour and I am ashamed of myself and sorry about it all, and now I don't know what to do...

This is partially related to step life, as the fall out is unbelievable! :( 

My brother left his marriage last year. He has full custody of his daughter.. since leaving he's had nothing but abuse from her whole family.   You name it, false social services claims,  false non molestation applications,  he had his firearms confiscated while they investigated the claims.

Why me, can it dd!

Lifer33's picture

 

So to set the scene, I'm not trying to stereotype, but I don't fit the dance mum clique, and nor does my lass but bless her she doesn't realise this, yet)

In we go to tiny packed dance waiting room..

Dance teacher: hi dd how was your easter?

Dd: (jumping up and down ) pammy pammy !!! We went to Switzerland!!! And, and ... my brother threw up on the train!!

Teacher (recoil) oh dear

Me: altitude sickness

Teacher: oh OK, how high were you

Dd confidently says 11ft! (ffs)

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