I'm just pondering the current situation with ss. Although the Christmas holiday went relatively smoothly,  he pulled another vanishing act as soon as we returned.  Basically cried off all his contact for the 2nd week , including the grandparents visit with their envelopes of cash,  which I thought rude.

When we did see him again he grabbed at all his money, asked dh to transfer it to him and did another vanishing act. Then it got better, he walked in the kitchen still texting someone (bm) and asked how much dh had in savings for him since he was small,  and wanted that too! That was finally a strong no!

Now, that leads me onto question, ss has been skipping every over night for months, and barely turns up for a few hours at the weekend. He has a newly decorated room here with a double bed that's gathering dust. I've asked dh to ask him if he plans to ever stay again ? Dh keeps swallowing excuse after excuse at the moment.

My idea was to put a double sofa bed in that room for if he ever does want to stay, and put floor to ceiling storage units in, as we are literally out of space. So he will still have a 'room' it will just have some of the contents of the rest of the upstairs neatly filed away In it. I might add he never brings any personal items like clothes, and anything we buy him at Xmas for example,  goes back with him on his say so.

Dh feels he can't ask but I don't see the point in keep tip toe-ing and listening to excuses.