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jasperjax's Blog

Why live in the past?

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My sm just sent a message reminding me of all the pain my bm caused me and my siblings when she left 20 yrs ago.C'mon! Its been 20 yrs already! Am I the only one who has moved past this shit! Yes, my mother left my father when I was 15 years old.Blah,Blah, blah.What about all the pain my father has caused? I love my bm. She is a wonderful mother and grandmother. I understand why she did what she and why she had to do it that way. I really do believe that if I were to hold onto those emotions that I would pass them right onto my daughter.

Forgetting my probs at home

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So,setting my crap aside for awhile...I too also have a stepmother and lastnight I think she pulled something really wrong. My older brother and I grew up as best friends. He was the best brother anyone could ever ask for. Three years ago he passed away. I have not gotten over this. I miss him every day of my life. He never got to meet my little girl and I could not help him when he needed me.Well, right now my oldest baby brother is going thru a seperation. His wife is moving away and taking thier daughter with her. I come from a long line of alcholics.

Need a break!

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I can't win for tryin! Was stuck home alone with my ss all day yesterday.Last night when bm bought my sd back home-I hid up in my room while they all hung out in my kitchen. So freaking sick of this shit I could explode! Who's house is this anyway? Why Iam I always made to feel like I do not belong here? To make matters worse-school is closed today! Why can't I make my husband understand how this makes me feel? Without him backing me this will never stop. I hate to say it but everytime something like this happens-I start to resent the skids.

Talking does not make me feel better!

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So, me and my husband talked things out last night. He tried to reassure me that I had nothing to fear but I just can't make him understand things. He is not the one with so many accusations made about him. my ss grandmother works at the school they both go to. Her and I used to get along really well. What did I do wrong? I told my husband about his daughter coming home infested with open and bleeding flea bites. I had to listen to my skids older sister tell me how bad the problem was. She told me the fleas were so very bad that a whole litter of new kittens died because of them.

Bad Weekend!

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So, I am at this point feeling very uncomfortable in my own home with my ss here. He is trying to talk to me and I am just ignoring him but he really hurt me by bashing me in front of his mother. He tried telling me the only reason he did it was because he was upset that I did not play video games with him the night before! Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? He got himself into this problem with his grades and now he is trying to say whatever he can to blame it on me. If it was my own child I feel like I would have control on it really fast.

My place

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So,yesterday was great! Before x-mas I found out my my ss was failing a class in school. This is not like him. He was on honor roll last year. So, I talked to him about it and we came up with a plan to set a meeting up with his teacher and get him some xtra credit and I would help him get that grade up. He was all for it then. But in the morning when I told him I was going to call and set that up now-his attitude changed. I knew I was going to find out something I didn't want to when I called her. His grade is down because of missing assignments and half ass work.

Just me!

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Hello! I am not new to being a stepmother but find myself at very great odds right now. Five years ago I was a full time Humane Officer in the county where I live. I was very dedicated to my job. Yes, I wanted a child of my own and we tried. I lost four babies over the two years I tried getting pregnant. I then decided it was not in the cards for me and threw myself even more into my work. I had nothing holding me back. And in a weeks time that all changed.

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