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jasperjax's picture

Submitted by jasperjax on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 12:22pm

Hello! I am not new to being a stepmother but find myself at very great odds right now. Five years ago I was a full time Humane Officer in the county where I live. I was very dedicated to my job. Yes, I wanted a child of my own and we tried. I lost four babies over the two years I tried getting pregnant. I then decided it was not in the cards for me and threw myself even more into my work. I had nothing holding me back. And in a weeks time that all changed. We moved into a new house, I found out I was once again pregnant and to top it off-Children and Youth had just removed my boyfriends children from his first marriage from thier mother. There was no question they would come to us and so they did. Also within the next few weeks,my teenage sister came to live with us. I was pregnant. How could my life change so drastically so soon? I found his kids to be wonderful though not without their share of emotional damage due to the neglect they had faced. Well mannered and very well behaved. I lucked out! I was glad to have the help of my sister since my boyfriend was a truck driver at the time.My luck ran out...

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007Lostit's picture

Submitted by 007Lostit on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 12:29pm

It was bound to sorry to say. So whats the problem? Many?
How many skids do you have? Is your sister still living with you?

jasperjax's picture

Submitted by jasperjax on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 5:24pm

We have one daughter together-she is about to turn four. She is our little miracle. His son is 12 and his daughter is 10. My sister moved out once she graduated-she now has a daughter of her own. We moved back to his hometown near his wonderful family almost two years ago. Unfortunatley-we are now closer to his ex. We decided to allow visitation. Thats when the problems started. I know she should not be allowed to see them at all. She lost all six of her kids-not just his and has since had two more.Ever since they started seeing her on a regular basis-I have become the horrible stepmother. I am constantly walking on eggshells afraid to even discipline when nesesary. I have been accused of emotional abuse even if they are grounded. Of course, I have never laid a hand on either of them-no sistuation has ever warranted that. But now I can't even ground them because I am afraid of what they will tell thier mother,grandmother and the school. We give them so much-more then what alot of kids have. I love them like they are my own and it is just not enough. I do not want to loose them due to lies so it seems easier to just let them have thier way. But I can not let my own daughter grow up not knowing about rules and responsibilities-so what is there left for me to do? Sometimes I think maybe they should just go back with her and I will pray for the best for them both. But I love them too much.

ddakan's picture

Submitted by ddakan on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 4:39pm

She was removed from being their parent. Now that she is back, she is ruining your life. Can you prevent her from seeing them now? Is she still banned by the state?

jasperjax's picture

Submitted by jasperjax on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 9:43am

It is totally up to my husband if they see her or not but he does not want to keep them from her. He really wont see the damage it is doing and when I try to point out facts to him-I feel like I am just looking like a jealous idiot!

007Lostit's picture

Submitted by 007Lostit on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 4:43pm

if you know she should not be allowed to see them at all, then maybe you should revisit why you feel that way. Maybe it is a good idea to have supervised visits first?