Bad Weekend!
So, I am at this point feeling very uncomfortable in my own home with my ss here. He is trying to talk to me and I am just ignoring him but he really hurt me by bashing me in front of his mother. He tried telling me the only reason he did it was because he was upset that I did not play video games with him the night before! Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? He got himself into this problem with his grades and now he is trying to say whatever he can to blame it on me. If it was my own child I feel like I would have control on it really fast. If I found out my daughter had been lying to me all along-I would fix it. She would be grounded and learn it is not right to lie when all I'm trying to do is help her. But my hands are tied when it comes to my skids.When my daughter does something wrong I have no problem putting her in time out and she usually will not repeat whatever it was that got her put there in the first place. My skids do wrong and I can't even ground them without being accused of mental and emotional abuse. So, my ss is down playing video games and having a great time so his father just taught him there will be no consequences for lying. How fair will it be to my daughter when she gets in trouble for something and her siblings don't?
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I feel your pain J - my hubby
I feel your pain J - my hubby & I have constant fights about punishment. Every semester of high school for 4 years, my SD18 failed at least one final. Punishment? Hubby always thought it would hinder more than help - whatever!!! So me, only being the lowly evil step monster, couldn't do a damn thing about it - Frustrating!!
So, if he's upset it's okay
So, if he's upset it's okay to bad mouth you... I'd tell him to go scratch
He could be trying to
He could be trying to triangulate the grown-ups so they don't talk and he doesn't get in trouble.
He could also be trying to manipulate you and your feelings to 'feel bad' for him so you will help him.
I say these things because SS15 used to triangulate with perfection. He even managed to do it so well that 3-4 years and 7 sexually abused victims later, we were the ones calling the cops on SS to turn him in and get him help. Only to find out a year later that his BM KNEW about SS abusing her BS (the 1st victim) at the beginning and did NOTHING! The final victim was our BS (then 5). Amazingly SS got VERY good help and now lives with us full-time and has limited access to his BM.
The manipulation is what my BS7 does. One day he got mad because he wanted to play a game with me so he looked at me and said "you love SS more than you love me". Manipulation at it's best... He just wanted some one-on-one attention so he tried to guilt me into doing it. His PSR worker has helped TONS!
Not sure if any of this helps, but it could be something new to consider for why your SS is acting this way with grades and telling his BM stuff when you could hear.
I am very very pissed! Just
I am very very pissed! Just before x-mas him and I had a plan to get his grades up and we were going to do it together. I was so happy after the conversation that I called my mil and told her how well it went. I was so happy, I felt like crying. He said he would do whatever it took as long as I would help him. So, to hear him saying what he did in front of his dad and bm in my own home just really broke my heart! But it was kinda funny when he realized I heard what he said and tried backpedaling his way out of it. He would never have tried that if his bm was not standing there IN MY KITCHEN! Everytime she comes here-my daughter runs to greet her and give her a hug. She seems to have firmly ensconced herself into my home.I am all for her knowing what is going on in her kids lives but now it has gone to far. I have even called her for some advice in the past. I don't feel any reasons for us to be enemies. Now I just wish she would focus on her other five kids and leave us alone. She does not pay child support so she really has no right. Am I blowing all of this way out of proportion?