I think i'm going to be sick. A little backstory, I have a SS16 who now lives with his mom. When I met my DH over 5 years ago this SS lived with us. We were close (SS & I) for the first year he was around 11 at the time, and we would go swimming, boating, bike riding, etc. Once DH and I got married, and SS turn around 13, things went downhill fast. SS is manipulative and sneaky and would defy any and all rules. I tried to help with keeping track of school work, etc. I guess you could say I put my heart into this boy. He turned on us both, and ran away during a very bad storm. We had to call the police and he was finally found and after a good scolding from the cops came home. That summer he went to visit his BM and just never came back. We found out from SD that he was moving there and his mother had already enrolled him in school. DH was crushed but told him to do what he needed to do but to keep in mind BM's house is in the middle of no where with no opportunities. SS visited one time, 2 years ago when his birth mom found him in possession of a bong and we haven't seen more than a glimpse of him (at SD's graduation and a local fair) since then. He calls maybe 3 times a year (near his birthday and Christmas of course). I have cyberwatched him and his activities for a while now and I can see he's now using pot and generally not headed in the right direction.

Yesterday, out of the blue he texted DH and said he wanted to move up here with us this summer and get a job :jawdrop: My heart sunk into my stomach and immediately I felt physically ill. This kid wants to blatantly use us. He doesn't want to visit, doesn't want to talk on the phone but wants us to open our front door to him as if all is well. After fuming and driving home I suggested to DH that he call SS and say to him "lets arrange a visit and talk". Because SS is passive aggressive my thought is that he will not want to talk or hear what we have to say. I also highly doubt he could live with the rules DH would impose here. It would be a whole other story if SS and DH kept up visitation from the time SS moved out and had some sort of relationship now but truthfully they don't. It pains my husband to know it but his son literally wants nothing to do with him except in the case of it benefiting SS.

I told DH i don't want him to move in but on the other hand I want DH to have an opportunity to make amends with his son if possible. I absolutely hate this entire situation. BUT SS is not to be in the house alone ever and when we go away or out of town he is to go to his mothers, DH agreed. I don't think we'll ever trust SS.

As with both SK's and their ever changing master plans, I hope against hope that this one blows over. We literally only have about 5 weekends the rest of the summer that we will be home, and i'm not sure what kind of job SS thinks he'll get that will allow him that much time off.

Best case, he stays at his BM's and feels the consequences of his decision to move there without even talking to us. DH isn't confrontational but I really wouldn't mind telling SS exactly what I see, I know it wouldn't go over well and i'd just get that blank stare but it sure would feel good to call him out on his shit. Go use someone else. My next step will be to suggestion he moves in with MIL, since she things both her grandkids are oh-so-special and we suck. ha ha.