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Xmas - This is going to be interesting

notsobad's picture

We just had brunch with SS(23) who is in town for Thanksgiving.

SS has just graduated from Uni, moved away from Uni town to the town that GF of 3 years lives. They are very serious, but won't live together till they are at least engaged, possibly married. We were actually taking bets on when she'd get her ring. Xmas eve, Xmas day, NYE??? Until SS said nope, I'm saving to buy a house first. Good kid, has his priorities straight. He's also got a great job.

Since DH and BM split up, he's gotten the skids on Xmas eve and she's gotten them on Xmas day. He's Ukrainian and Xmas eve is the holiday for them not Xmas day.
When DH and I got together it fit us perfectly as well. We all go to MIL/FILs, celebrate, go home, have Xmas morning at home then off to my Moms for Xmas day. My exH picks my kids up from there and DH and I have the rest of the evening to visit and Boxing day all to ourselves. Two amazing meals and I don't have to cook anything Smile
Skids spend time with us, grandparents, aunts, cousin and then time with BM and her family. Perfect!! It's worked great for a long time. Smile

So I ask what's happening this Xmas?

Well, he says I'm staying with GF and her family, then coming down here on the 26th, I think. We might come down the 23rd and 24th but will definitely be going to her parents on the 25th. SD(26) is shocked! :jawdrop:
SD - Have you told Mom?!?!? She is going to loose her shit! Seriously you can not do this, Mom is going to be so upset. Are you sure you want to do this?!?
SS - Too bad Mom is going to have to deal. I want to be with GF on Xmas day and GF is going to be coming down here with me when it works for her and her job. :jawdrop:

So BM thinks she's raised a son who will listen to her and do everything she tells him to do. What she has in fact done is raised a man who listens to the woman in his life who is the most important to him and it aint BM any more!

It's actually nice to see SS like this. He was always the kid who agreed with everyone, he hates conflict and doesn't want to fight with anyone.

None of it matters to me. I very much like and get along with both skids and SSs GF. It will be lovely to spend time with her over the Xmas season. It really doesn't matter to me which day it is. I don't think it matters to DH either. He just wants to hang out with his son and have a visit, the date doesn't really matter to him.
My son will be home from Uni and our plans will be the same as every year.

Comments

hereiam's picture

Yep, that's what happens at that age when they are in a serious relationship; they start splitting the holidays between families.

I guess BM thought the apron strings would always stay intact? Good for your SS. And you are right, the date doesn't matter. For these types of BMs, it's the loss of control.

notsobad's picture

DH and I talked about it last night.
He thinks BM might be ok with it. He said if she isn't all her complaining will do is drive SS away. He's in love and doesn't want to deal with any drama. After brunch they chatted more and SS said BM wasn't happy about him moving but there was no way she was stopping him.

He's grown up a lot