a bit O/T yet not, my own screwed up family
I have a brother to another mother (B1), a brother to another father (B2) and one brother (B3) to both my mother and father. B1 and I didn't really get to know each other growing up, his mother left my father when he was a baby, but I had such high hopes that as an adult, me and B1 would get to have a close relationship. Unfortunately that isn't the case. B1 absolutely hates B3, but says he considers B2 to be his "brother" (they are no relation whatsoever). I had B1 and his family over to visit (all brothers live a good long car ride away) and the weekend was a disaster, nothing was said at the time but B1 has ignored me since then (6 months now) over a misunderstanding that I have explained and apologized for but nothing has changed. As I blogged about previously, my best friend recently died from cancer as did my husbands best friend. B2's daughter was very sick and hospitalized, yet B1 still has not reached out.
SD19 reached out to B1 and now they are all best buddies but yet B1 ignores me, his sister. SD19 has basically turned B1 against me and my husband (he doesn't feel we raised SD correctly). So even though I had such high hopes of having a relationship with B1 it appears that he wants nothing to do with me. Sadly, he has a daughter who is my niece that I will never see again if i say goodbye to B1.
I had thought for sure when I posted on Fb that my BF died B1 would reach out, nothing. DH's BF died, nothing, B2's daughter hospitalized nothing. Not a phone call, not a text, not a message. I currently have B1, his wife and his mother (my SM for a very short period of time growing up) on my FB. And I can't help but wonder why I don't delete and block them all. They don't seem to care about me anymore.
I must forever be the optimist because I keep holding out hope that B1 will reach out to me even though time and time again he has not. I guess i need the courage to close that door but it saddens me greatly. It's bad enough that the adults in our lives screwed us up as kids by not letting us see each other but now we are screwing our relationship up just as well.
I guess I know deep in my heart that if I do delete and block B1 and his family I will never hear from them again and that breaks my heart. But I doubt he could have made his feelings for me any clearer, his silence says everything.
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Comments
You are right, B1 has very
You are right, B1 has very bad feelings that B3 and I had a relationship with our Dad, that is why he hates B3 so badly. We both have tried to explain to him that Dad wasn't the best dad to us either growing up (didn't often take his visitation with us) but no matter what we told him he still had bad feelings. He's expressed his hatred of our father as well. I have never discounted his feelings, he has a right to feel them but I don't agree with him. I believe our father did the best he could with what he had and I have forgiven him.
I thought it was nice that he liked B2 as a "brother", my dream was always to get together with all my brothers. I can't believe with him saying that, that he didn't reach out to B2 when his daughter was in the hospital. Sadly I hear what you are saying about saying goodbye to B1 and I agree but it's just so hard to close that door. But this constant rejection from him is probably far worse than saying goodbye to him once.
It just astonishes me that SD19 has done so much damage to my relationship with B1, as well as my in-laws, but you are right B1 has betrayed me and that is unacceptable. Ironically SD19 still has the nerve to text or email me when she needs something. I've done very well thanks to this website with detaching from her and deflect her questions with "i don't know" quite often. She just seems oblivious to the damage she has done.
Wow, that must have been a
Wow, that must have been a tough "pill to swallow", I can't imagine a brother doing that to his sister, i'm so sorry. And so glad you survived. Since B1 hates B3 I will most likely never see him again, B3 was the central meeting place for all of us traveling. I have some real tough decisions to make. Thank you for sharing your story, it helps to know i'm not alone. I thought the saying was "blood is thicker than water" but I guess not in all cases.