why should bm get all the love when she lives a plane ride away?
Sd9 mom lives across the country and sees her twice a year...Result? Sd lives w us full time...and I mean fullll time....too afraid to spend the nite anywhere. So why does sd tell mom when she calls once a month that she's the best mommy in the World? I'm more of a mother figure and yet I can't get used tothat idea and feel like I can't step upand be that for her. She's cold to me and barely hugs me goodnite. Any Advice?
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Because she knows she has
Because she knows she has your love. But her mothers is conditional. She only sees her 2x a year and SD has to remind her mother she loves her.
You know who she will call on when the chips are down. Although if it is really bothering you get her Dad to have a talk about how you do what you do because you love her and no one else is there to do that stuff.
So true oneoffour. My SSs BM
So true oneoffour. My SSs BM rarely sees them and when she does it's just for a few hours. But she's the best mother ever! Right? This pissed me off/hurt me until my DH & I realized that every time the boys did question their mom "Why aren't you spending more time with us?" etc - She would just pooh-pooh their concerns "Well, my leg hurt last week" (actual excuse) or she would spend the whole visit crying uncontrollably or she would disappear altogether for a month or a year. Those boys who can't learn to lift the toilet seat learned right quick to never question her and to always fawn over her extraordinary parenting to make her feel better.
I think a lot of it is also overcompensation. My SS13 had so much anger towards his mother that he tries to cover up these uncomfortable feelings by convincing himself how much he loves her. Of course, I'm no psychiatrist and SS13 would never open up about this sort of stuff. He is 13. And a boy. So I'm just left to surmise.