My MIL is delusional
If you saw my last blog, you know that MIL and DH got into a huge fight. She ended up cutting her visit short and heading home. She contacted DH yesterday with a list of demands to make things right. I am so flabbergasted by this. Here is her list:
1. DH must apologize and admit she was right. He needs to understand that she is his mother and he owes her respect. He also apparently should be open to her advice on parenting SD.
2. DH must let her see SD9 this summer. SD9 goes to her BM for the entire summer, except for 2 weeks in the middle. She is demanding those 2 weeks be spent with her. If he doesn't do this, she is going to work with BM and see SD9 that way.
3. DH has to put me in line and make me realize that I am never to disrespect her again.
This is such b.s. First of all, I don't know what planet she is living on that she thinks that BM will work with her. If you remember, MIL is the one who got CPS involved and cost BM her home and custody of SDs. Second of all, I will not apologize for disrespecting her when she stood there and yelled at me in front of my kids. She said some very hurtful things about my children. She really believes that I should put SD9 before my own kids. She said it is my obligation to let my ex keep my kids during my visitation time so SD9 can be brought back and forth. Yeah, okay. As far as the apology goes, DH told her he is not apologizing. She is not SD9's mother. She stepped of line and until she learns the boundaries, she won't be allowed back at our house. So of course, she is the victim. I am so over this whole thing. I told DH I am disengaging. He has to deal with her. He said that he has my back and he will handle her. So I guess we will see.
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You have a unikitty and you
You have a unikitty and you are currently experiencing Cloud Cuckoo Land. My advice is to disengage and ignore her.
Oooohh, she is full of
Oooohh, she is full of herself, isn't she.
"3. DH has to put me in line and make me realize that I am never to disrespect her again."
This was my favorite ludicrous demand. My MIL (now deceased) couldn't control me either. The woman used to shake like an old wet hen. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
" He said that he has my back and he will handle her."
He's already proven he can and he will.
I'm more worried over SD9 and that long summer visitation with BM. I just hope that goes ok for SD and that BM/sister and the other crazy grandma don't mess with her head.
You have no idea how much
You have no idea how much sleep DH and I have lost worrying over sending her back to BM. We know that it is going to cause a backslide, but the courts can't hear our motion until mid-September. DH's lawyer went to the judge and pleaded for a sooner court date, but she said the issues are not so important that they qualify as an emergency.
This was the last thing that girl needed. She loves DH's mom and seeing her screaming like that had her so upset.
DH has to put me in line My
DH has to put me in line
My DH would laugh his ass off at that!
My DH was told to leave me
My DH was told to leave me and our then 8 month old baby.
some of these MIL's are so GU
some of these MIL's are so GU it kills me...
#1 - um, no. "but i am your MUH-THUURRRRR"- wtfe, doesnt make you right
#2 - go right on ahead w/ arranging w/ bm
#3 - BBBAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA
#3 made me laugh. Your MIL is
#3 made me laugh. Your MIL is delusional.
1. Sure, he can apologize
1. Sure, he can apologize that things got "heated" BUT, she needs to respect HIS authority as the child's father. She may give advice (not in front of child) to DH, but it is ultimately his decision as to whether he takes said advice. It has nothing to do with whether he respects or loves her whether he takes her advice or not.
2. Go ahead and make your own arrangements lady. Good luck to ya.
3. What? No. She is my wife, if we have a different opinion than you that is NOT disrespect. In fact, you will RESPECT my wife and my decisions on how we parent in OUR own home. Love you mom, but I am not my wife's keeper and you need to respect HER. If you can't behave respectfully in our home and in front of your grand daughter then you will not be welcome in our lives.
Yeah. I had to cut off FIL
Yeah. I had to cut off FIL from being at the house when SS was here early on in our relationship. Anything I said, he contradicted. Anything I did, he had something better. Always undermining me in front of SS. I told him enough. My house, my rules, get out. He tried pleading with DH that he was just trying to help cultivate the relationship between me and SS and he thought I was too hard on him. DH said well this is her home and it's her SS and its her mistakes to make and you have no say. Last year, I called out my passive aggressive stepMIL while on vacation. She was doing much of the same thing. We had a full on war about it. Over stupid things like who needed sippie cups and who didn't. I mean, anything I said, she said otherwise. DH stepped in here too and said he remembered her being the same way about her overbearing MIL. She's never around my kids, doesn't know their temperaments or how developed they are. Back off lady. she swore that she didn't do that, then after the fight, she caught herself doing it and would correct herself mid sentence. I think she's so used to being "in charge" and she's just naturally passive aggressive that maybe she really didn't realize she was doing it, but boy did I point it out and put a stop to it. Needless to say, they don't come around. Like ever. No problem for me, I never liked them much to begin with and DHs mom is an awesome Granny, so they can eff off. Haha
He should text her back "No
He should text her back "No thank you." and then "ignore the whore" unless she comes back with a personality transplant.
My MIL was ever so grateful
My MIL was ever so grateful when I was helping DH get custody of the skids. Ever so concerned in the beginning when I was being tossed under the bus, cursed at, ignored by her grandchildren.
She got pissed off when I disengaged, because I would check in to a hotel when DH traveled and she would come to my house to watch the skids. She thinks that the whole CPS phone call is "no big deal" and that I "overreacted" to the whole thing.
I haven't spoken to her or seen her in almost a year. Yay me!!!
In your shoes, I'd wish I
In your shoes, I'd wish I could put on my little yellow duck suit and let all this just wash all over me....
I think the most peaceful choice might be for DH to tell MIL that he knows she loves her grandkids and wants to spend time with them. And that of course she wants to be closer and do more and be more involved, but part of being a grandma is having to accept that that's just not possible.
And that he's sorry she isn't happy with his choice of life partner, but he is. And since he's going to be spending the rest of his life being happy with you, he hopes that she understands if he feels that he can't spend as much time with MIL/having MIL around when it just seems to generate stress and confrontation for everyone.
I can see BM becoming this
I can see BM becoming this MIL and not in a step situation.
She hates that SS spends so much time with his GF and her family. She hates that he moved to GFs town, she hates that SS puts his GF first.
So far BM has only really complains to SD but it won't take much for her to lose it and fight with both SS & his GF.
Maybe your DH should send her
Maybe your DH should send her a picture of his belly button with a note that says, "The cord was cut years ago, get over it."
GOOD ONE!!!
GOOD ONE!!!
Do you think maybe there were
Do you think maybe there were some underlying issues here? I mean this was just about grandma telling other kid to vacuum right? Maybe she doesn't feel like she's getting enough credit from when your husband was single and she helped raise the kid? Does she just think you are too hard on your skid? Isn't the niece her grandchild also? Why does the niece have to vacuum but the skid doesn't? I think grandma is losing it.