It feels like forever
I am having a problem with our custody situation that is much different than most SMs on this site. The fact is that my SD14 moved out of our home and back in with BM. She was supposed to start living with BM last year, but due to a CPS case, she had to come back to us. I am so grateful that we got that extra year, as SD really bonded with DD1 and our new baby. She also finished off the year with honors.
The courts decided two weeks ago to rule in BM's favor. SD14 was open and honest that she wanted to go back to live with her BM. She has favored BM from day one so this was not a shock. At first, I was angry for my DH's sake. He has fought so hard to be a part of her life and they have grown close over the past 6 years. And despite BM's best attempts, she had bonded with me as well. I felt betrayed by how happy she was to go. I watched my bios all cry when she left.
I guess it wouldn't hurt so much if it didn't feel like forever, but DH and I both worry that she will stop being a part of our lives. BM lives 900 miles away. And as we saw with SD16, she will do anything to turn the SDs against my DH. I spent the last two days crying randomly. My DH is also struggling. I don't really know the point of this blog. I think I just needed to write out my feelings.
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I am very sorry to hear this.
I am very sorry to hear this. A good parent would make strenuous efforts to try and ensure their kids' ongoing relationship with the non custodial parent, but when you get nasty, narcissistic BMs like this, they just don't see they have any duty to do this. It is all about them, rather than their son or daughter. 900 miles does sound a bit far to do EOW, I have to say, but hopefully SD14 will still be coming to stay with her Dad and you in school holidays, going forward?
We have summer visitation (
We have summer visitation ( only half this summer because she was with us all year) and holidays. But at her age, the cops where she live will not enforce visitation with the NCP so we are afraid BM will continue to poison her and we won't get those visits.
I am so sorry That is
I am so sorry
That is honestly beyond hard. It's okay to love the skids. I miss mine too.
I hope the CO is at least straight written out so you and your DH get holidays and summers. And I hope that SD is old enough to keep a good head on her shoulders and remember everything you've done for her.
I am sorry for you and DH, it
I am sorry for you and DH, it is hard. It's just as hard to be a helpless bystander watching someone you care about hurting and thier is nothing you can do to make it any better for them. I get it. Although it's easy for me to feel anger towards SD and BM because of the hurt and pain they cause SO. I also feel for him as the hurt and pain of being rejected by the child you raised must be immeasurable.
I'm really sorry, we raised
I'm really sorry, we raised Spawn from the time she was 10, her senior year she moved out and I never saw her again, nor did my kids. BD was still pretty young and was bonded to her and she cried and would ask to go see her. It was hard, but as time passed BD asked about Spawn less and less.
I'm sorry for your loss, and it really is just that a loss. Time will heal these wounds and your bios will grow and not realize what they lost. SD will be the one to suffer more, because she will always compare her life now to what she had then and it just won't add up. But she will do whatever BM want's because she's been brainwashed too.
sorry that you're distraught
sorry that you're distraught over this. i envy you. i would love for his youngest to move out. i would cry happy tears.
After all the drama with BM,
After all the drama with BM, I thought I would feel that way. But I find that I can't stop crying. I just can't help feeling like she is never coming back. And thinking of all we are going to miss out on.
I am also somewhat angry because I feel so betrayed by her happiness to leaving.