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Ohhhh Whoopie... Both Skids need braces

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Submitted by Catlover on Sat, 11/28/2009 - 6:47pm

and guess who will be footing the bill in our house...you guessed it Moi! DH and BM will have to pay 50% each of the bill. Right now DH is making squat financially at his job, and already has accumulated thousands of dollars of lawyer bills fighting BM over this placement schedule. I had to return back to work about two months ago, and don't really relish in the idea of having my entire paycheck now going to pay for the skids braces.

When BM's financial irresponsibility impacts the skids....do you step in?

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Submitted by Catlover on Sun, 11/15/2009 - 12:32pm

It appears that BM and her hubby's lifestyle of spend spend spend is finally catching up with them. For the past three years I have scratched my head and wondered how they were doing it...new cars...eating out every meal...new toys for the skids every time they went by her house. They had been getting a ton of child support from DH (we have 50/50 but DH made a lot more than BM at the time). After DH lost his job, BM ended up not only losing child support, but having to PAY support to us. Still they spent. Now all we hear from the skids is "mom has no money, mom can't afford xyz.

when your family can't get along with DH

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Submitted by Catlover on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 1:34pm

I'm in tears after talking to my mom today. My entire family (Mom/dad/grandparents etc) all have more than a few issues they dislike about DH. They believe he is controlling, self centered, and has alienated me from those I have previously been close too. To some extent they do have valid points. DH can be extremely pushy when it comes to getting his own way, and likes to argue/banter to prove his point.They feel that his number one priority has been and will continue to be the skids and his family.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to work I go,....... (and no more free nanny service for BM/DH!)

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Submitted by Catlover on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 5:45pm

It's official...I started back to work this week. This will be a rude awakening for BM, and perhaps DH a little too. After DH and I got married, I quit my job to be home with our new baby daughter. Of course, that meant that I became the full time primary parent to the skids (9 and 12) who we have 50/50 placement of. So for the last two and a half years, I have been the one who gets up with the skids to get them to school, gets homework done, takes care of scouts/football/4H/band etc., gets the skids to bed, feeds them supper and cleans up after their less than grateful selves.

Am I wrong on this???? DH almost obsessed with skids.....

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Submitted by Catlover on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 12:04pm

DH feels that we need to attend ALL of the skids activities (even when they are with BM and it conflicts with other family plans). From his perspective the skids need either him or I or both there at every activity so that they have a parent there to support them. I, on the other hand, think that the skids DO have a parent there to support them (BM and stepdad) while they are with BM for placement.

OT Being a landlord sucks! Any insurance agents out there?

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Submitted by Catlover on Fri, 09/25/2009 - 12:44pm

My tenants have turned into complete nightmares! I have a condo that I owned prior to meeting DH that I have rented out for the past two years. Since I moved into DH's house when we got married and the housing market was so bad that it wouldn't sell, so I decided to rent it out and at least cover the mortgage. UGGGGGGG

Anyone have any experince dealing with BM's/ ex's who work nontraditional hours? HELP please!

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Submitted by Catlover on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 3:13pm

Does the court automatically favor that parent with regards to custody/placement? BM and her hubby work 24hr shifts as EMTs usually with them working every other day, followed by three days off in a row. Originally DH gave skids to BM on her days off in a row (4 by her, 5 by us, 4 by her etc). BUT this ended up with DH and I having the skids 60 % to her 40%. (we were supposed to be 50/50).

I am taking back my power!

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Submitted by Catlover on Wed, 09/16/2009 - 1:33pm

BBB's blog got me thinking (thank you) that I have allowed BM waaaay too much control over my emotions. I am ashamed to say that as a Mental Health Professional I should know better, but I suppose it's easier to dish the advice than take it, right? The thing is, BM will NEVER change (or at least no one except for BM can MAKE her change), so whether I am angry, sad, fearful etc. Bm will still just be BM. I have allowed myself to become a martyr that gets angry when others take advantage of me, whether that is the skids, BM , or even DH. I cannot continue to do that anymore.

BM got in my face last night at CHURCH!!!

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Submitted by Catlover on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 1:36pm

We had SD's confirmation meeting last night at our church (BM and her hubby came for info though they aren't members). DH was hanging out with the kids (SD,SS and BD) so I went over to the table to pick up SD's catechism, folder etc since the skids are with us for the first 4 Wednesdays when SD has her meetings (DH and BM have 50/50 placement). I head back by DH and the kids and just start paging through the papers and I look up to see BM and her husband headed directly over to us.

why are there no support groups for us?

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Submitted by Catlover on Tue, 09/08/2009 - 9:48am

Seems like at least where I live there are support groups for alcoholic divorced amputee midgets (not trying to offend you if you are one), but if you are a stepparent you are out of luck! I have looked but can't find anything. I think it would be so beneficial to be able to have MY weekly meeting to go to for support! Is it because it is unthinkable to general society that we steps struggle so much in this role? What are your thoughts?

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