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BM Strikes Again

CastleJJ's picture

Bare with me on this - it may be pregnancy hormones leading to this vent, but I'm irritated, and think this is all so stupid. While it seems petty and dumb, it's just another example of why I hate this woman so much.

HCBM has always prevented DH from accessing SS' records. She would always claim that he was violating her sole legal custody by accessing SS' records. So she would email DH all kinds of school, sports, and medical information almost every day - most of it was always irrelevant because we live long distance and she would send flyers for school musicals, weekly lunch menus, and sport uniform fittings. Well, during our 2019 court battle, out of retaliation against DH for taking her to court, BM told DH that she no longer felt it was her responsibility to keep DH informed of school, sport, and medical information, and that DH could access this information through the school, team coach, and doctor's office on his own. This statement is even outlined in the CO. So DH did exactly that - he got on the school email list, the teacher's email list, contacted the coach and got added to the team app, and contacted the doctor's office to obtain any necessary records. 

BM sent DH an email in June, informing DH that we would not have SS for Labor Day weekend, due to a football game that was on the team schedule. As outlined in the CO, we don't have SS for Labor Day if a game is scheduled that weekend per the team schedule; if SS doesn't have a game scheduled that weekend, then we get him. DH didn't respond because he already had the team schedule and knew this information and knew that BM would have SS, just as she has every year for the past 3 years due to football... it wasn't really a surprise. Well, since SS left in early July, BM has been emailing DH images of random papers that SS has received either via mail or in-person about school. We haven't received many email, just a few. She never says anything in these emails, just literally attaches the paper and sends it. DH never responds to these emails because what is the point?!

Well last night, she emails DH stating that she has sent a variety of emails over the past month and that while many do not require a response, he should at least acknowledge that he received them because she needs to confirm he got them, specifically the school and Labor day weekend ones (which is every email she has sent so far), because she has not received a single response from DH in the last month. So DH simply responded "Yes, I received them."

What is it with this woman? Why is she trying so hard to remain relevant when she has made it clear that she loathes DH and I and wants nothing to do with us. She moved on with a woman and now identifies as gay so it's not like she wants DH back. It's just so stupid. She originally said she wanted DH to be responsible for the information, so he has been, and he has kept up with every date and event SS has even though we are long distance, yet BM keeps sending pointless emails and wanting confirmation they were received? Coming from the woman who sent a thumbs up emoji to one of DH's emails. WHY?!

Comments

TheAccidentalSM's picture

She doesn't want your DH but she still wants to control him.  I think this is really common.  My own DH's ex didn't want him any more so divorced him.  After he met me, she completely lost it for a while.  I think what she (and many of the BM's) want is to be free to move on but for ex-DH to be stuck in life, miserable and permanently at their beak and call.

CastleJJ's picture

And I know that this is BM's exact reasoning, it's just annoying is all. I just think it's funny because DH has completely disengaged from her bullshit for years and rarely communicates with her, like maybe once per month. Every single one of DH's responses are BIFF, yet she still tries. I know she just wants to be able to say "Look at how awesome my life is and how miserable you are" but the thing is, DH isn't miserable. He is happier than he has been in years. 

ImFreeAtLast's picture

I'm cynical and old. I wouldn't put it past BM to still hold a weak and used candle to your husband. How long have they been divorced? Did she divorce him or did he divorce her? Bm here sent my husband emails that were so disgusting and disturbing! Eventually she gave up I guess. Her and DH don't communicate anymore.

CastleJJ's picture

BM and DH were never married. BM and DH dated on and off from their senior year of high school (age 17) to freshman year of college (age 19). During their toxic relationship, BM had several suicide attempts, exhibited self harm behavior, and ran away from home. Her therapists told her family and DH that it was attention seeking. When those things failed to gain her attention, she started doing drugs and claimed to be bisexual. DH stayed with her under the pretense of "how do you leave someone when they are at their lowest." BM's behavior continued and it led DH becoming depressed so DH broke up with BM. 

A year later, DH ran into BM's parents and they told him how great and stable BM was and that they should get back together. DH and BM started dating, but DH wanted to take it slow to not get sucked back in. Well after a few months, BM (at age 19) said she wanted to marry DH and have a baby together since they had been through "so much together." DH said "No." Well unknown to DH, BM got off her birth control and started tampering with the condoms. BM ended up texting DH to break up with him out of the blue and two weeks later texted him telling him she was pregnant. DH was devastated. They were both only 19 and clearly not equipped to raise SS. BM has told DH that she never wanted to be with him, only used him to get pregnant with SS. 

BM has abused DH since SS' conception and uses SS as a weapon against DH. DH has mostly disengaged from BM and has accepted the situation for what it is, after several failed court battles. BM moved on with her GF 5 years ago and moved SS out of state, so we see SS 6 weeks per year on a long distance schedule.

Sparkl3s's picture

I'm petty AF so I would set a rule in my email that automatically replies "thanks your email has been received- automatic confirmation from xzy inbox".... 

CastleJJ's picture

LOL I love this idea. I wonder if you can do this for a specific email address only. Might have to look into it.