FDH went out of town for a few days with his kids - I couldn't get the time off of work so I told him to take just them (that's what I told him... actually I just couldn't be in the car for 5 hours listening to them argue). Nothing major, just went up to the cabin to go four wheeling. They got back today and we had to be at mass by 5pm tonite because his grandma is turning 100 and they were doing a special blessing for her. They get home around 4 and we take off shortly after that. We ended up getting there a few minutes late and we walk in and have to walk to the very front of the church (they reserved 3 rows for the family). FDH is in the lead and FSD and I are the last ones, FSS is right next to daddy and won't let me or anyone else sit next to his dad. I was a little irritated by this, especially since he just had his dads FULL attention for 3 days and I'm sorry but he is 17 years old, not 2. I'm irritated at FDH for not sitting next to me and allowing SS to stop both me or SD from sitting there either. Anyway...... I know it's stupid and petty, but with everything SS has done and said, I just really find myself not being able to tolerate him. So..... after mass, we went to his aunts house and SS is continuing to be so far up FDH butt that it's sad..... but I just think whatever.. and go into the house and sit and talk with his daughter, sisters, mom, nieces, nephew and aunt. Normally, I would go back and forth between inside and outside to socialize with everyone, but by this point, I couldn't even stand being anywhere near where him and his son where because I just couldn't stand to see a 17 year old acting like a 2 year old.

Eventually, FDH & SS comes inside, gets some food and sits down to eat, by this point, we have maybe said 20 words to each other since he has been home. I've finished eating, so I go outside to smoke, because his SS is still 'attached' to him. (It's not like he doesn't know anyone, this is his family...) After I finish, I go back in and FDH heads out to smoke and FSS is still eating (he could eat a large pizza by himself & more). Anyway, I walk out to get the keys for the truck because I need to get something out for his sister and he follows me up there and asks whats wrong, I just look at him and tell him that I don't know why I even bothered to come because he sure as heck doesn't seem to want to be anywhere near me and made that very clear at church. He said well you could have told SS to wait and let you in first.... I looked at him, yeah right... in front of the entire church and watch your son cause a scene or say #$@% u to me under his breath????? Maybe if you as the parent stopped it instead of expecting everyone to 'raise / discipline/teach' your kids he would've listened. I told him that from the time he got home to this moment, I felt as though he didn't want me to go to mass or his aunts with them, that I was 'in the way'. He denied that, blah, blah, blah.

It just seems as though his DS will always, always cause us problems. He's even causing a ton of problems with his sister...... she is at the point that she has told both her mom and dad that she does not want to be around him that she hates him and could care less if something happened to him. The resentment that this kid causes is just amazing..... SD knows and sees everything that SS is causing and has even told her dad, but for whatever reason SS has a hold on his dad that is so powerful that you could get the things he does/said recorded and FDH will find a way to excuse the behavior.

I've done the disengaging to a point, I don't deal with him, talk to him or do anything for him (that includes, cooking, cleaning, etc.) I only deal with him when I have no other choice (like todays event). Normally I keep myself busy doing other things when he is at the house (every other week), amazing how many overtime hours I pick up or errands I have to run during that week His grandmas b-day party is tomorrow, so I am stuck again having to be around his son for about 6 hours unless I find a way to leave early which I may do since I have a dog and someone needs to let her outside }:) (Thank goodness for my dog!!!!) I'll just have to drive separate, which won't be hard to do because I told him before that I did not like to be in the car when SS is driving because he is way to aggressive and cocky for my liking.

I know SS is doing this on purpose to 'show me who is going to win', but you know what.... I'm getting to the point where... he can win, I'm to the point to tell FDH to marry his own son since he runs his life and makes all his decisions.... let me know how that works for you!!! Because I can guarantee he will NOT ever help his dad if/when he needed it and he will demand so much more than any women that FDH could/would ever meet..... his son will never let his dad be happy whether or not I stay.... he will ensure that FDH will never have a life.

Sorry.... I know it's long, but I just needed to vent a little bit. Maybe I'm being a baby but I'm just getting tired of FSS trying to control me by controlling his dad.