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Told FDH how I feel about his parenting....

floridagirlal's picture

I finally told FDH how I felt about the way he parents FSS13. I told FDH the following things:

1. I hate it when FSS sits down in the middle of a conversation WE are having and asks what we're talking about. And FDH actually TELLS him what we're discussing. If I wanted FSS to be part of the conversation, I would ask him to join. Even if it's not a private conversation, I feel like it's rude to butt into the middle of a conversation.

2. FDH needs to stop saving all of his errand running (grocery store, haircuts, anything...) for times when FSS is not with him. At this point, FSS thinks that all he has to do in life is go home to FDH's house and ride his golf cart and play XBOX and wait on his dad to have a nice supper prepared for him. He doesn't see the grocery shopping that goes into making sure there is a pantry full of food and seeing how much food actually costs! I told FDH that I thought he was doing no favors for FSS because he's raising a son that EXPECTS the world to revolve around him.

3. I told FDH that his life doesn't revolve around FSS and why does FSS call the shots? For example, the two of them went to the mtns for spring break and FDH informed me that "FSS said that we can come home on Tuesday". Excuse me? He's allowing you to come home on Tuesday?? Really? That's so nice of him. WTF....

I recognize that he only has 1 and I have 3 so I don't really ever "ask" what my 3 want to do. I would have 3 different answers! I just "tell" my 3 what we're doing.

I'm must frustrated and venting because it feels like he takes away from the time he could spend with me and uses it to do his errand running because he doesn't want to inconvenience FSS. *sigh*

Comments

stpmom2b's picture

We are the same way. It seems like every weekend with DH's kids has to be one fun activity after another. They expect it now and allow no room for downtime. DH is so afraid of the kids being bored or thinking BM's house is better/more fun. I am so exhausted by the time

floridagirlal's picture

He listened to what I said and told me that I was probably right. He said he hadn't looked at it from that perspective and there were probably many other things that he was doing wrong. He took it very well. Don't get me wrong...he's still a man and his pride was hurt that he might be doing something wrong but he was not angry or defensive like I might have expected.

The only thing that he disputed was that FSS is more important than me...I expected that. What else would he say?