Just trying to be patient, after my SO wrote me out a big long letter explaining his perspective and how he feels that with time and small steps he will eventually get this situation where it should be.

Still, that was two weeks ago and nothing has happened at all in that time. While i'm glad he's not over there having "talks", it's still hard to stay patient and not get upset about the whole situation.

I can't even explain why it bothers me so much! He has limited his contact with his ex, which is really good. He sees his daughter during the daytime for lunch (he works close by, and she's out for school and staying home with her 14yo aunt)

He's taking her swimming on his 1 late night with her so he isn't at the house and is spending one on one time with her. Saturdays are still... kind of up in the air and a bit of a mess still. He's trying to take her and her aunt away from the house also to reduce contact.

All of this is good, and i guess they need to get used to it but it still feels like he's pulling a bandaid off at a snails pace.

I know his ex would freak out if he insisted on bringing his daughter to his apartment for his time with her, or insisted on including me even once in awhile. But, isn't that going to happen eventually? Is she going to really be less upset then vs now?

I personally think she's going to freak, period. Doesn't matter if it's now or 10 years from now. She's going to freak about it, and need to come to terms with the situation. Might as well get it over with now so we can avoid other issues that might come up like the daughter being much older and being resentful and angry towards me instead of liking me (as she does now)

And, by the time she's a teenager, would i even want to spend time around her! Probably not, nor will she want to do bunches of stuff with "dad" cause she'll want to go hang out with her school girlfriends.

His parents are flying in tomorrow, and will stay for 3 and a half weeks. So, there will be no changes during that time either.

Yeah, the drama is much less than it was originally when she moved here but it still feels to me like this is a little ridiculous. It's been almost a YEAR to get her "used" to the new situation. Feels like an eternity.

He's all stressed with his parents coming and having our house so full of people and having to entertain them and such, so i don't really want to bring anything up or push him to poke around a bit about making any progress in this situation.

But, just feels like a glass slowly being filled up with water as i sit around being patient. Every 4-6 weeks seems like i hit my limit and have to vent and remind him that i am not really ok with all of this.

I'm getting pretty close to that point again... not sure how this next month is going to go! With his parents constantly around... and him spending even more time with his daughter and doing stuff with his parents/daughter or with daughter/ex/parents and me being excluded from anything that is relevant to his daughter...

It really made me angry as well that i kept asking him what the schedule was going to be for when his parents came (so i could make my own plans and such while still being available to spend time with him and them)

For weeks i kept asking, and even his ex was asking what the plan was. (at our meeting, she mentioned that she was kind of annoyed that they hadn't figured it out yet) So, sunday i asked him again and he has apparently talked to her already and determined what the plan is.... nice of him to share it with me! Since it DOES effect me afterall...

So they talked and he didn't bother to let me know, even though he knew i really wanted to know cause i've been bugging him about it every week. Even still, he THINKS they figured it out but isn't really sure. Which means they mentioned it briefly and he isn't sure if it was agreed to or not. He then tells me that plans have changed for the BBQ/Party that I was planning for Sunday ( we picked sunday so that i could just plan it with no concern about schedules and all that baloney, and just send an invitation to the ex and daughter and let her decide if she wants to attend)

Apparently his ex said that sunday wasn't a good day for her because that's HER day with the daughter, but that we could have it on saturday. I laughed when he told me and asked if that meant i didn't have to invite her... since it's not her day!

That really got under my skin as well. So, we'll still have it sunday. And i just won't invite them! It's not like she had to attend anyways. I would do it saturday so the daughter could be there with him and his parents, but then the ex would of course come along. Since it's more likely he will do something with his parents/daughter WITHOUT the ex if i don't plan the BBQ, i'd rather just let that happen then actually cause the ex to come hang out on dad's time and include herself where she isn't really wanted. (i'd feel differently if she wasn't already inviting herself along for dad's time on a regular basis. I just don't like encouraging that behavior from her)

So, Just needed to vent a bit i guess. I really wish he wasn't such a sweet guy, or so reponsible, or so loving, or that i didn't have any feelings for him. I really don't want to see his kid all the time either, it's just the fact that i am excluded by her demand that really gets to me. A day at the park once a month, or going to a farmers market for an hour or two really doesn't seem like much to ask for.

I keep hearing her words as well from the meeting. That she is willing to give 120% to find a solution! She just hasn't figure out yet what that solution is... Obviously she isn't willing to give at all, since the solution is for her to just stop being a control freak, move on with her life, and let dad be a dad. But, i guess that isn't one of her possible viable solutions to this situation to which she would give 120% to make happen. :/

ending my rant for this week. Maybe i can last a little while longer.