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Segmented lifestyles, do they ever work?

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Submitted by anyha on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 3:06pm

I am thinking about this situation and trying to determine if it would ever really work or if it would always be a source of hurt.

This concept in which my SO leads basically two lives. One with me, whatever that leads to and one with his daughter. It seems like he has determined that the best way to avoid conflict is to just keep these two lives seperated as much as possible.

The small annoyances

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Submitted by anyha on Thu, 09/29/2011 - 2:27pm

Is it weird that BM has a picture of her and SO framed and sitting on the bookshelf?

I know they say it's good for the kids sake to have "family" photos, and if it was a picture of the 3 of them i might understand. But, this picture of just him and her from their honeymoon seems kind of ... yuck.

If this woman insists that she has moved on and doesn't want him back or anything, why would she keep this photo DISPLAYED in an area she will see it all the time? It would just seem awkward to me if i had pictures of me and my ex around my house if we were not together.

The non-existant progress is getting to me again...

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Submitted by anyha on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 5:47pm

Just trying to be patient, after my SO wrote me out a big long letter explaining his perspective and how he feels that with time and small steps he will eventually get this situation where it should be.

Still, that was two weeks ago and nothing has happened at all in that time. While i'm glad he's not over there having "talks", it's still hard to stay patient and not get upset about the whole situation.

Meeting with BM- meh

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Submitted by anyha on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 4:22pm

Well, we met. She put on a pleasant face, said a bunch of stuff and pretended like she's trying 110% to find a "solution" for this situation. Pretty much ignored the fact that the only one really causing any drama or problems is herself... I guess she's looking for a solution that SHE can accept... which means she probably won't find one cause what she'd really like is to replace her ex with a guy who loves her and wants to be married to her and have a family all together and that whole unrealistic dream that just didn't happen and can't be created now.

Hardly know what to say these days...

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Submitted by anyha on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 1:04pm

Well, meeting is scheduled. Two weeks from now. I'm pretty sure she wants to meet to try and exhert control. I've been doing a lot of research and it's really obvious she is a PA/HAP parent. So, the trick i guess for now is to make her feel important, let her say whatever she wants, and make sure she knows i don't want to take her role as mother. Will it help? Probably not. At least i tried.

Meeting with BM.. TBA

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Submitted by anyha on Thu, 06/16/2011 - 2:23pm

Really nervous about this. We haven't set a time/day yet... Just a quick recap. BM wanted to meet with me when she first moved here back in august. There was WAY to much drama and boundaries and things that needed to be worked out between BM and SO, so i was really against meeting with her.

What a mess

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Submitted by anyha on Fri, 06/03/2011 - 10:42pm

Slightly off topic, since i'm not talking about MY situation... But I just found out my brother is headed for divorce. And they have 8 kids! The BM is crazy, selfish, super jealous type too. One more nice guy coming to the market, one more psychotic BM to wreck havok on a poor unsuspecting 2nd wife (assuming he even tries to find someone) and 8 messed up kids.

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