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AJanie's Blog

In defense of the stepmama

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Submitted by AJanie on Tue, 05/30/2017 - 9:44am

A friend shared a little story on Facebook about a guy who is divorced, but brings flowers and makes his ex wife breakfast with the kids each year on her birthday "to set an example for his kids."

A bunch of people liked (and loved) it and of course I had to comment "Hope he's single, because if not stepmommy should be PISSED." Dirol

"I love BM"

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Submitted by AJanie on Fri, 05/26/2017 - 8:44am

Last night DH and I were having a good, long, deep conversation. We were both feeling tipsy, wine, cheese, crusty italian olive bread...

Snuggled up with our pups on the couch. Talking about everything. The last couple of years. Where things started going wrong. The future. Everything in between. The perfect night.

I told him about how I felt when BM would come up during date night. Or how sometimes I feel like his daughter disrespects my belongings (she likes to help herself into my purse, drives me nuts.) He listened, attentively.

BUT

O/T out of the fog

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Submitted by AJanie on Thu, 05/25/2017 - 9:39am

I feel like I am slowly emerging from the fog.

The last year has easily been the most challenging of my life. I can see now how depressed I was. Always sitting in bed in the same ugly gray sweatshirt, the smallest tasks felt monumental, crying over anything and everything, fits of absolute rage, etc.

The new medication I am on and my new therapist seem to be helping. I hate to even say it because I don't want to jinx it.

Last straw

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Submitted by AJanie on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 9:06am

DH & I got into a big argument Friday, Saturday pretty much didn't speak and yesterday we kind of made up and were fine. I had deleted facebook but got it back a few weeks ago, against my better judgment. I noticed yesterday AM a post to DH from a friend... so as of yesterday DH and I were "friends." Then this morning I sign on and notice my own husband blocked me. :?

O/T for the PMDD ladies

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Submitted by AJanie on Thu, 05/11/2017 - 3:44pm

I finally "sought help" about my PMDD. Really it was a second opinion because my regular doctor didn't seem to take it too seriously.

I was tired of being swallowed by a black hole every single month for a week, or sometimes longer.

This doctor (very nice lady... kept calling me "sweets" lol) switched me from lexapro to celexa (after telling me how similar they are) and told me to double the dose "the week before menses" (how I believe it was worded).

So, off I went with a drug that is similar to what already doesn't work :? - but hey, she's the doctor.

Sad dog stories. Can't handle em.

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Submitted by AJanie on Tue, 05/09/2017 - 2:01pm

Ugly crying at my desk.

I follow a bulldog page. This beautiful dog died and the woman posts the most heartfelt words about him. She is a stepmom, too. It seems like she gets along well with the skid but it is very clear that she just lost HER BABY, her true love.

The death of animals rips my heart to shreds. A bio free stepmom losing her dog, almost too much for me to read about.

My dogs are my babies. SD slapped one of my dogs last Friday night for no reason and I yelled at her. First time I ever yelled. She was shocked. No one f*cks with my dogs.

I just WANT to start with BM sometimes.

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Submitted by AJanie on Tue, 05/09/2017 - 8:27am

DH's worker's comp checks resumed a few weeks back after a hiatus. BM's garnishment, for whatever reason, is late - still not on her card. It is garnished on our end. DH made all the phone calls and straightened it out, so he thought. Lawyer said it might take a few days.

She called my house at 8:00 AM (DH was at a dr. appt. so couldn't answer cell). I didn't pick up the phone. DH texted me that she is flipping out about her child support.

It is so tempting to text her and ask her to refrain from calling my house before 9:00 AM unless it is an emergency.

BM tirade

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Submitted by AJanie on Mon, 05/08/2017 - 8:21am

Skid weekend recap.

BM told DH to get them at 8:00 Friday (instead of 5:00) because SD had a bday party to go to. She is court ordered to drop them off, but never does.

He went at 8:00 and got them.

Weekend was good, busy, tiring... the usual. DH gets a call Sunday at 6:00, it is BM losing her shit because skids aren't home. Drop off is normally 5:00 but DH was going to drop them off for 8:00 (showered and ready for bed) because he lost out on 3 hours Friday. This is how the court order works and has always worked.

Kid's birthday par-tays

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Submitted by AJanie on Fri, 05/05/2017 - 11:39am

I am taking SD to a birthday party tomorrow for a friend of mine's daughter (turning 10).

It got me to wondering, how much do you spend for a kid's party gift. For a friend/neighbor and for a family member?

I generally do around $10-$15 for everything, but sometimes I admit I do feel "cheap." I try to make the gift thoughtful and cute.

Example: For the party tomorrow I got the girl a kitten pillow ($5... she loves cats), a package of 2 lip glosses in cute animal shaped containers ($4) and an emoji lolly pop ($1.50). Dollar store for the bag and card.

O/T former smokers, how'd you kick the habit?

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Submitted by AJanie on Wed, 05/03/2017 - 12:34pm

I don't consider myself a smoker. But I am one. See the delusion there?

I can skip a day. I have days where I smoke 1. I have days where I smoke 10.

I tend to smoke when I am upset/anxious.

I have read the book "The Easy Way" ... it helped for a week.
I have thrown away full packs.
I have quit 150 times.
I have joined support forums.

And still... when the going gets tough... I light up.

I have bad lungs as it is. Allergies and even asthma flares. Still doesn't stop me.

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