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Struggling stepmum's Blog

My own fault

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Been a while. Since I last posted my H has been diagnosed with BPD, he has got me arrested for the boppit incident and completely destroyed my reputation in our not very big town. On the plus side I received only a caution due to the provocation. And I managed to get an interim custody order due to his mental health issues which means I get to stay in my home and he's not allowed to come near it. All temporary but it has given me some breathing space. I have been having a lot of counselling g hours. And am learning how I aided this situation. By reacting in anyway I fed the madness.

What a mess

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Applied for an injunction this afternoon as H phoned up begging to come home. I told him calmly no and contact between us at present should be only about our child. I don't think I can cope with more than that. He then after I refused to talk sent a stream of texts swearing. It was enough for the police to act this time. He is not allowed to come to the house or near me for the next three months. After dealing with that I get a call from the psychiatrist who saw him.

BD doesn't know full facts

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Could do with some constructive advice for this one as I honestly don't know. BD10 told me earlier that SD13 has been in boxing her and asking her to tell me she will behave if I let her and her dad come home!!! Not a chance obviously being at BMs is not that much fun after all. My BD as I recently blogged saw very little of our arguments as she spends a lot of time with her dad. Also my H and her had a loving relationship and I'm sure he controlled himself in front of her. She is now angry at me as she feels I'm being unfair.ive spent the evening thinking about this.

He wins!

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Don't k ow if anyone is interested or not but according to my solicitor he has the right to provide a home for his child the same as I have. The judge would possibly decide in my favour as our baby has no other options. That is going to take approx 12 weeks to be seen. In the meantime to keep my kids safe I am going to have to give up my home. That automatically gives him more rights than me. My ex has offered to take my BD and my HS and my son unofficialy. That way they receive the care but they are officially living with me. His gf will help him.

Is it legal?

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Is it legal to log onto someone else Facebook and take photos of inboxes to use as proof of something? I know there are conversations between SD and H discussing her moving out?

Can things get worse??

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After all my plans I was informed yesterday by H that as SD13 officially is still his full time responsibility (she went to BM a month ago) he has as much right legally to stay in the house as me. At least until she is 18. I have yet to confirm with my solicitor but my online research backs him up. How can after 15 years of supporting this house I be expected to hand it over to him and worse the SD that started all the arguing in the first place! Does anyone have any knowledge about this?

Protected my kids.

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Protected my kids but feel so sad now. I am not going to be visiting him in hospital as that will just zap my strength again. Why don't I feel happier? And it's not because I thrive on the drama! Anyone got any positive advice for me?

Finally lost it. Not proud but honestly satisfied

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After little sleep and Hs sarcastic comments I lost it and sacked him round the head with my BDs boppit toy of all things! Aptly named. Then I called the police and said if they didnt remove I was likely to beat him to death. I swear the idiot ( sporting a black eye and head cuts) was actuay proud of me?? He was even laughing. They have told to go away for a few hours but as I hit him this time I didn't have any say. Can't believe how I behaved

He won't leave

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Feel sick that I may have to get the authorities to remove him. I've told him yesterday that I want a divorce. I mean it, I am ready. But I have been subjected to 24 hours of verbal abuse. I won't repeat it. I am tired and hurt but I am not giving in. His career will be over if I even contact the police.A clean CRB check is essential. But I don't know how my h more I can copewith

Tell them for once

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Why do our Hs ways expect us to be the doormat? Why do we have to tolerate all the skids and exs behaviour and trouble making rumour spreading, endless list! Why ca t they for once tell them to shut up and tolerate us? Is it because they would ratheroae us than them? Are they still too engaged with their 'real' family?

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