Its been too quiet. Ah yes, SD16 calls with more drama. She's a bit overdue.
SO was on the phone for SD for over an hour last night. He could barely understand her she was crying and couldn't get out her words.
Fight with her mom and with her friends.
SO is getting the kids, yet again, for the 6th weekend in a row. He promised SD16 she could have the treadmill he doesn't use. He was working it out with BM to meet with sdad's truck at halfway point so they could exchange kids and get the treadmill. Last night SD got upset with her mom when mom said she didn't want to meet SO and borrow stepdad's truck, her dad could just bring it all the way to their house (an hour away). SD's response. She tells her mom she doesn't respect her as a parent and she doesn't like the decisions she makes. She thinks its unfair that BM makes dad drive all the time. Big words for a little spoiled brat. On a separate note, SS13 has commented to his mother that she doesn't pay for xyz sport he is in, it comes out of dad's child support money. Who says that shit to their parent??!!??!!
What I heard? SD16 threw a tantrum thinking she wasn't going to get something. Then proceeded to horribly disrespect her mother. Then when mom hit her for it, SD had the nerve to call dad and snitch. You know what? My daughter talks to me like that, something is going to happen. I am not saying I'd hit her, but I'm not saying I'd put up with that nonsense either. AND she wouldn't get to the phone afterwards. BM doesn't always handle her daughter property. She plays in to the drama and attention seeking, the shit disturbing that SD does. SD won't talk to me like that because I'd don'y play in to her antics.
Next, is longest of the conversation. Apparently, SD16's friends are yet again sick of her crap. SD whines on the phone that her "BFFs" is apparently not being so friend like. She never listens to my problems, she only wants to talk about herself. Gee who does THAT sound like??? Her other friend's supposedly disagree with some things SD likes or does and then she basically acts like an asshole to them. Basically telling them how stupid THEY are because she's right. THEN Turns around and expects them to want to be around her like nothing happened. Eventually, no one wants to be around the asshole. Plus all her friends are white trash and for some reason SO thinks that SD is nothing like them. One recently came up preggo (but lost the pregnancy early) and another was sneaking out and getting drunk. The others are obviously going to be meth heads and pumping gas. SO knows this. Why he thinks his daughter is so different, I have no idea.
All I know is that as I sat with my disengaging headphones, SO is listening to SD crying and her drama. I remained on my island. Eventually, I got up and left to do something else. There went our quiet evening of enjoying TV together.
AND who freaking talks to their dad to vent about their female friends and their high school drama?? A child with a friend parent.
SO tried to handle it objectively bless his heart, but the amount of sympathy he gave was what she called for. Not advice. She just wanted sympathy because the whole world is mean to her and she does nothing wrong. Typical teenage drama with heaping of extra narcissism sprinkled on due to overindulgence and spoiled upbringing.
Finally, out of the mouth of SO "If a friend is more stress and energy to expend on than what you get from then you need to distance yourself from that friend"
Can you replace friend with skid???
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OMG this sounds SOOOO like VD
OMG this sounds SOOOO like VD and she's only 13!! I can TOTALLY see this scenario in 3 years from now. However I'll be GOOOOOONNNNE!!
SD19 has the exact same
SD19 has the exact same relationship with her dad, however he has been getting soooo much better lately. She turned on the tears the other day about the girls she works with being so mean to her, and he said hmmmm you had the same problem at the last job, maybe it is time you take a look at the common denominator. I was so freaking proud of him, it has taken a year, but he is finally starting to parent instead of always babying her! (Of course she sees the difference and its my fault, but that's ok because she needs a parent not a bff)
Why did she never have a
Why did she never have a chance?
I see.
I see.
@koobwest Do you reside with
@koobwest
Do you reside with your FDH or are you living in separate homes?
Just curious.
Wow, well said Koorb. I
Wow, well said Koorb.
I think it's wonderful that a teen girl wants to actually talk to her father, let alone cry on his shoulder.
"this is her daddy and if a girl cant cry to her daddy than what hope does she have?" So sad that my daughter doesn't have that chance, too.
I disagree strongly that a
I disagree strongly that a child should be able to talk to one parent so badly about the other. It undermines the other parent.
It teaches the child they can disrespect the other parent.
Don't fool yoyrself, this poor SD who "should be able to talk to her daddy" is probably bashing her father to her motger as well. Basic child of divorcevmanipulation.
As far as the friend issue, she does this to herself. She is mean to people then expects them to take it. They arent supposed to dislike her being an asshole. Then she calls whoever will listen and plays the victim.
This is one reason she and I dont interact much. Anything I say is mean or wrong, then daddy steps in to protect her.
THAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE.
You stated the longest part
You stated the longest part of the conversation was about SD and her friends and school drama.
NOT about mom bashing.
Yes and I stated above that
Yes and I stated above that when she talked about the friend issue, it was only a feel sorry for me tactic. She doesn't want help or advice. She wants validation and sympathy.
I disagree. I think if its
I disagree. I think if its SO's choice to give something like a treadmill, something large, then he should be the one to transport it. He didn't even ask BM if BM wanted it in her house to begin with. What if BM's husband didn't even have a truck, then what? She's being shitty for not renting something?
I see your different side. I get it. You are right, if skid actually hadn't caused problems in the past, I'd probably think differently. But she's drama.
-at age 14, mom is so mean to me. she's horrible. Help. I want to come live with you. Oh and I want a good education and to go to college. *FINE
-comes to live with us. 3 months summer prep to get her in to a school here by us. *Fine
- 2months of school and $15,000 later, I want to go back to BM. I want my friends. My friends are so important. *FINE
- 9 months of SD now 15 lying about d/f on report card to dad. BM doesn't let on anything either. BM punishes SD takes phone away most of 9 months for grades. SD tells dad its cause she was smarting off. *Lie.
- SD finally spills that she's failing freshman year at public school. says "oh I don't deserve my end of year coach purse, I just wanted to be honest. I can't accept my end of year gift for my grades". * REALLY? You think that's the end of it? *
- SD now 16 still constantly complains about BM and wants sympathy. My friends are all mean to me. My mom and sdad are mean to me. *I have no more to give.
- SD16 "can I have a car?" "WHY NOT!?!" *Really?
Its always a manipulation. I will no longer allow myself to be the fool.
Yes, its so wonderful that a
Yes, its so wonderful that a child calls her dad to bash her mother. Its also wonderful that she feels that she can describe how rude she is to others she calls her friends, then cry when someone doesn't like it.
She is truly a genious if she has people on this board feeling sorry for her too. I can't wait until she is a constant adult victim.
>>>She is truly a genious if
>>>She is truly a genious if she has people on this board feeling sorry for her too. I can't wait until she is a constant adult victim.<<<
This.
How long have you been
How long have you been together?
What's that matter?? She's
What's that matter??
She's NOT a SMINO. It seems like you're trying any way to invalidate her statement. Why?
Koorb, I get it. Your statement makes a lot of sense to me. I value my relationship with my father... I thank God he's the man he is.
step-mom in name only
step-mom in name only
"us" Not me. I love overit2
"us" Not me. I love overit2
She's my hero.
There is a difference between
There is a difference between advising his daughter and babying her.
If he listens and gives her the 'you poor thing' routine, she will never learn how to independently handle life without daddy. Too many kids are raised believing they aren't responsible for their actions including the way they handle themselves in all relationships.
They have to be taught.
He can absolutely use those moments where she is upset and wants to talk to her dad to teach her how to handle herself in relationships and how to take responsibility for the choices she makes. I hope that is what he is doing.
It is that switch that I am trying to get my boyfriend to make with SD19, and it is working. Their conversations have gone from "those girls just don't like you because you are too pretty" to "what was your role in the way you are being treated" I think that is healthy progress, she is learning (from him) that you can't behave badly and not have consequences, whether its with friends, family, co-workers, classmates, boyfriends etc.
If all that you read is that
If all that you read is that she talks to him, re-read my post. I do not agree with calling to bash bio mom. Bio mom works and takes care of her children she isn't perfect, but you do not go run to daddy when you clearly disrespected your mother then try to make mom look bad.
Sds problem is that she is a dick to people and there is only so much the people in her life will take and should take.
THIS ^^^^ This is what I
THIS ^^^^ This is what I expect from a parent. You teach your children life lessons you teach them how to be mature and grown people.
and it didn't ruin my night.
and it didn't ruin my night. I just posted that more drama was on the way. Its allowed.
That is great for your DH.
That is great for your DH. This is what SO tried to do. She just wanted sympathy. Kept saying, but i want them too.... Or i want mom to...
He had to explain to her thats not how the world works.
All of these people that
All of these people that refer to 'daddy' creep me out and have daddy issues lol.
Anything past 8-10 calling 'daddy' is just weird.
A teenage saying 'daddy' or adult woman, for the love of god you are not a baby kid anymore.
My boys dont' call me 'mommy' it's my 'mommy' it's mom, mama,they call their father dad...not daddy, they haven't for a long time... how come boys who are supposedely more immature somehow realize when they need to make the shift to grow the fuck up.
Girls get stunted on 'daaaadddyyyy' as if they're 3 (including my 11yr old sd)
Completely agree. I have to
Completely agree. I have to wonder if you are still referring to him as daddy or her as mommy that you were given adult spousal status. Seems to correlate.
OK................
OK................
YOu just made my point,
YOu just made my point, thanks.
LOL!! Wow. This is an
LOL!! Wow. This is an entertaining day!
Who knew???
Who knew???
My MIL told me that when SD
My MIL told me that when SD had her graduation party, she had invited some friends of hers over. Her cousin asked where so-and-so was and BM stated loudly, "I told them they were NOT invited."
SD responded, "OK, mommy."
When she sent a thank you card to us (which amazed the hell out of me!!), she addressed it to:
Daddy and Skylarksms
I thought it was a little odd for an 18 year old teen mother to be calling her parents mommy and daddy.
Here's what I meant by yOu
Here's what I meant by yOu just made my point, thanks.
"And yeah I have daddy issues like Daddy why did you have to have surgery and die and leave me here alone? I thought that for a long time now I just miss my daddy alot"
Its not daddy issues at all its what I always called him and will call him until I die."
Koorb-because MOST CHILDREN-VAST majority stop calling mom/dad mommy and daddy before they are tweens.
Just like you start pronouncing fork instead of fuck when you grow up.
Some people struggle with maturity, grown and normal adaptation of relationships as they mature and get stuck in infancy/childhood mode through life. Most normal adults find it odd that teenagers would use that term-in fact most other KIDS do also hence why they tease them.
You don't know the backstory also-these little drama queens -it's not about 'being unable to speak to dad' -it's about them always having some kind of chaos and drama and tears and 'need my daddy'...they are emotionally stunted and will stay that way unless "DAD" helps them grow up.
I agree with kids needing to
I agree with kids needing to grow up and be taught how to be adults.
I just don't think it's summed up by a "title." Does it REALLY matter what someone calls someone else?? It doesn't affect me. I could care less.
I know my SD uses the
I know my SD uses the "Daaaaaaddddddyyyyy" to full advantage when she wants something. She just did a post on Twitter the other day about she needs her Daddy but its too late, blah blah blah.
Any other time, he is Dad. Or asshole, when he has told her no.
Koorb-I live in the south. I
Koorb-I live in the south. I still find it creepy when girls say 'daddy' or 'mommy' past a certain age-luckily most don't....
It's just weird, to me...not saying to you obviously ;0
But anyways you all just make my point for me so we agree to disagree yes?
I have heard sd say the words drawn out pleadin deeeeeeeaaaaaaaddddddddeeeeeeyyyyyy. Please (repeat) can I get a 'insert sugary food of choice' insert long daddyyyyyyyyy
It's gross....same as seeing anyone past tween age sit on their fathers lap...just damn lack of boundaries. You will rarely see a boy do that-somehow the 'borderline' emotionally incestous thing is just 'acceptable' in society. It's just sick.
I NEVER behaved this way with my father-he was loving and kind and just -but boy did we have clear physical boundaries especially after a certain age.
I was never called princess or doted on either or spoiled.
Take for example an 11yr old SD who started wearing a bra a year ago (for no reason needed still) go up to her father and ask him to unhook her BRA...yep kind of girl that calls dad 'daaaaddyyyy' lol
Luckily dad put her in her place-but damn these girls want to act like spoiled baby lovers and mini-wives or girlfriends to their FATHERS. I see it ALL THE TIME!
Something is wrong with an 11
Something is wrong with an 11 year old that can't get a bra off. At the very least she could have pulled it over her head or stepped out of it. This sounds like a daddy attention ploy.
I'm very uncoordinated and I
I'm very uncoordinated and I never ONCE asked for my dad (or daddddddeeeeeyyy) to unhook it for me. I figured it out for myself.
These kids are not given proper access to frustration thus they never learn to DEAL with frustrating things. The Instant Gratification model.
ETA: Oh, I never asked my MOTHER for help either!! I just figured it out for MYSELF!
Well, let me explain. There
Well, let me explain. There is something wrong with this kid, my sd.
She has used a bra for 1 1/2yrs now....she undoes her bra at her home all the time, in fact she does it when visitng us on wknds all the time. It was an attention ploy-my bf will undo MY bra, it's an intimate or private thing.
I wouldn't have DREAMED of asking my dad even if my mom wasn't there-she certainly DOES not how to do it.
Who else can she ask? FIRST of all, this kid is very coordinated and capable-and I was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO HER-she got up went to her father who was washing dishes and asked him to unhook her bra. He went ape shit on her....didn't beat her but certainly gave her a strong stern lecture on boundaries and how she needs to manage that herself in the bathroom or ask ME-the other female in the house-that you don't ask your father to do such things.
It WAS a ploy for attention-if you click on my name you'll be able to find the blog for the full story. It was creepy...she doesn't sit on his lap (he would not allow that) but certainly always tries to snuggle up, sit close, fight over the sofa to sit w/daaadddy and other such mini-wife status issues.
She used to enter my room and bathroom w/out permission like she was part of our adult room-I nipped that in the bud.
He's getting better at applying boundaries and teachign her but I guarantee you she does this because she is a very strong alpha female for her age and like many girls-especially of divorce they have this weird 'i'm woman of the house/daddys chick' mentality-but not in my damn house.
So there, now that you can't play devils advocate what say you? lol
eeeewe. I remember this when
eeeewe. I remember this when you first posted it.
All those bad things have
All those bad things have only one thing in common. SO told SD that she had to think about how she acts and what her role is in her problems. I was very surprised.