I think you should probably give her a number where you can be reached in case of emergency. DH's cell phone number would be good, because you can turn that off, but she can still leave a msg if it's important. And I think you probably should let the girls call her, maybe every other day. But beyond that, no, don't let her barge into your vacation. I think if you do that, you're covered.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

i wouldnt have it id just nto ring for the five days and no you shouldnt have to tell her and what possible emergency should she have to contact your DH if the skids are not with her ????????

my answer is none the kids are the only reason she should need to speak to your DH

id take her number with you tho just incase the skids miss her and want to talk to her in which case i feel you should let them

life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )

get a dif sim card to take with youa dn only give it to your familey

life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )

Sounds so familiar... BM calls only to make my SD feel bad about being at our house. Each time she calls she makes sure to tell SD all the things that she is missing when she is with us, so this is what we did. We told SD that she could call her BM whenever she wanted, she nevers asks to call her unless it's necessary. When BM call we let it go to voicemail and if the message is an emergency then we have SD call BM.

Why does a 7 year old have a cell phone, just because BM sent it doesn't mean that she should get to keep it when she is in your home. Your home, your rules; don't let some crazy wack job control anything in your home.

When we took my skids 8 to Disney this past summer, their bm sent them w/a phone. I told my dh that I was not carrying another phone, when she has our cell numbers.. he can carry it if he wants. See.. I am the one that carries the back pack around Disney.. not him, not the skids.. and I refuse to carry one more item.

Dh told the skids, they can be in charge of their own phone. He also let her know that he was NOT about to keep track of a phone she chose to send w/8 yr olds. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. the skids decided to keep it in the room. So this phone went w/us, and sat in a hotel room the whole time.. and she was NOT happy about it. TOO BAD!

Tell her up front you will be going to the beach and for how long. I would let her know what beach but not necessarily where you are staying. Let her know that the girls will call her at the END of each day only to let her know they're OK. I would also let her know she can call DH's phone to leave a message but only in case of an emergency.

Einstein's definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Per my long winded rant last winter, that is waaayyyy too young for a cell phone, IMO. That said, strongly agree with those that advise to tell her generally where you are going and ensure she has an emergency contact no. DH's cell phone is great for that. That is what is required by our agreement and I don't think it would be responsible to simply disappear on vacation, no matter how much you'd like to.

For me the phone calls betw. BM and skids are a little trickier, b/c there's a whole bunch of support for allowing skids to feel like they have access to BM while at DHs (or to DH while at BMs). At the same time, parents must be reasonable about the amount and nature of contact or they are seriously interfering with the ability of the parent w/the kids to bond with them and create independent family ties. Seems like a call once a day is a reasonable solution -- I would barf if my skids talked to BM once a day, but I can't see where I could object to it. (Thank goodness they don't ask, and she is reasonable enough not to force it!)

Maybe try to (briefly and business-like) explain boundaries in terms of what is good for skids. Maybe tell her once a day pre-planned and then "if they ask" (rather than her calling and texting all the time). Your BM needs some serious professional help w/understanding that her kids won't forget her just b/c they don't hear from her, and there is no such thing as loving their other family more, it's all the same amount of love, and no amount of phone calling or reminders that "mommy loves them" will change that. What an insecure nutjob -- w/such young kids, I could understand her angst, but acting on it is a whole 'nother thing. She did make the decision to divorce, and her suffocation of her kids and interference with YOUR family life is not going to make their bond w/ her stronger, and is just making the whole thing harder for her girls. She needs to love them enough to let go a little.

Cause the same thing happened for us......we made the skids leave their cell phone home (at our house) when going on holidays. We gave BM a friends # to be used in an emergency....with INSTRUCTIONS to give a detailed message or the message would not be passed on to us. Friend was ONLY to contact us if she actually thought is was a true emergency.

If we didn't feel it was an emergency, we never returned the call....guess what, nothing was an emergency...she just wanted to know EXACTLY where they were and have control.

She bitched us out afterwards, but you know what....it never happened again because we told her straight out....you seen how we are handling things, this will continue.

Maybe you should try that one?????

Corie

might have something about each parent not interferring w the others "meaningful" contact w the child...that being said, u do not have to answer the phone when she calls. she can leave a msg and if its important or an emergency, u can call her back...she cant demand u answer the kid sohone when she doenst have it w her. i would just give her access to the kids phone, BUT i do not have to answer it every time she calls. also, where u take them is none of her business...if its not in the paper sto disclose, dont disclose. our BM has me in tears many times and just her sending a text ruins my whole day so i understand how u feel. dont give her the power, and dont play by her rules. good luck

If the phone dies because the skids forget the charger at home I guess there wouldn't be much bm could do about it.

My SS lives out of state. the last 4 summers (since my hubby and i have been under the same roof)she has ruiened with calling when ever she feels. on vacations, Birthday partys, camping, family functions she went so far as even calling my husbands mother to hunt us down one day bacause our phones didnt work where we were camping.
I told Dh that it is down right embarassing when he's walking around with a phone glued to his ear when we are someplace. so at easter he showed up with his own cell and guess who was on the other end.I don't even know when or how many times she called that week. He just came home sunday for the summer and forgot his cell ( hes here for 6 weeks I wonder if she will get grazy enough to actually send it)anyways, I asked my Hubby to control the phone contact and set some rules for her. he calls SS on Wed. and Sunday nights. He doesnt hunt them down when they dont answer there home phone, she should respect us and do the same. Leave a message on my home phone and he'll call you back. I agree we have the kids there should be no emergencies unless someone dies. This is our summer to, I will NOT follow another womans rules.

My BF and BM drew up an agreement regarding stuff like this. And it states...

A no interference clause regarding how and when we should communicate, i.e. don't call each other at work, unless it's an emergency; don't call each other after 9pm or before 8am, unless it's an emergency. Neither parent will interfere with phone calls between the child and the other parent when baby is old enough to talk on the phone. Each parent will respond promptly, within 24 hours, to the other parent's communications via email or a phone call but only if its an emergency.

If you get them for an extended period, such as for several weeks during the summer, I don't think you need to tell her every single place you go with them. Forward your home phone calls to your cell or just tell her to call DH's cell because you don't plan on spending every second with the skids locked inside your house. She doesn't need to have an itinerary, as long as she can reach DH/skids when it's reasonable for her to do so. Of course, it's sort of a pay her now or pay her later situation, because you may be trading a BM-free vacation for all kinds of aggravation when she finds out you took them someplace and didn't tell her. I'd be casual about it and tell her that you plan on doing some activites with the kids, so if she tries to call and you're not home, to call DH's cell. Do you think she'll be more of a PITA if she knows where you are during the vacation or if she finds out you took them after the fact?

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)