Long time since I posted

Hi everyone. I haven't posted since prior to Christmas when I reported that I was thinking of leaving my fiance. Well I did it. It took me these last two months to work up the courage but I really did it. Now I am faced with a new dilema. I am seven months pregnant and I find myself going from step-mom to bio-mom. How do I deal with this. How do I date other men or allow my daughter anywhere near any of her father's new girlfriends knowing what I know about how I felt as a step-mom. It's a very confusing time for me. ANy advice would be appreciated.

Gabby77's blog
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Don't make generalizations

Choose whom your child associates with based on that person's merits or faults, not on any preconceived notions of what they might be like. That would be my best advice. Give people the benefit of the doubt. We want to teach our children to be cautious of new people, yes, but we don't want to teach them to shut themselves off from new people altogether. It's a fine line we tread as parents.

Not all stepmoms hate their stepchildren, hate having them around or want to come between the children and their father. Not all stepmoms nurse a deep, dark hatred for the ex/BM. Most stepmoms don't really have any desire to try to take BM's place. Go in thinking the worst and you'll probably get the worst, but if you go in with a positive attitude, you might get more positive vibes back. If your ex gets involved in a serious, long-term relationship with a woman who will be spending lots of time around your child, then stick out your hand to her, introduce yourself and tell her that you hope you and she can forge a friendly relationship, because your daughter will need all the positive role models she can get. You don't have to be BFF, but the less threatened she feels by you, and vice versa, the better you'll all get along.

You're going to use your best judgment when it comes to introducing your daughter to new boyfriends and you'll have to accept that your ex will do the same. You guys may not like or approve of each other's choices, but you can't really control it, either. Be respectful of each other's right to live your own lives and make your own decisions. Make sure to encourage your daughter's relationship with her daddy, because little girls really do need their daddies, too.

I think a good rule of thumb is to not expose young children to someone you are dating until it's progressed beyond dating and becomes a viable relationship with serious, long-term potential. Sometimes that's not always feasible, but as long as you are circumspect in your behaviors, I think it's okay for children to meet their parents' friends.

Congrats on your pregnancy and your newfound freedom. How does your baby's father feel about all of this? Put aside your differences and make him an ally in fighting for your daughter's best interests, and you should have few problems.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

I'm hoping we can move past it

but I'm not sure. My ex is contolling and verbally abusive. I'm afraid that he sees me as a prize to be won. He wasn't intersted in my pregnancy or anything else that had to do with the baby until I left. In fact one of things that pushed me out the door is that he accused me of ony caring about the f*cking baby.