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SS11 LATEST BULLSHIT- GRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

just keep me sane's picture

Submitted by just keep me sane on Sun, 10/24/2010 - 5:38pm

SS11 feels its too much for him to " take out the trash" clean his bathroom ( he has his own and no one else uses it) does not want to clean his room or help out in the kitchen by drying dishes, setting the table or wiping the table off.
I am so pissed this kid is going to make me crazy he is almost 5 ft tall and 85 #'s with no physical disabilities - I call bullshit on his attitude.
So today I typed out his house rules and chores and consequences if he failed to do them. made him sign and date it and put it on the refrigerator so he could see it every day...I sent a copy to BM she is out of state and I am so sick and tired of them either feeling sorry for him and making excuses for him or them enabling him to continue this behavior I could scream.
I am so alone in this ....I am the only enforcer of anything. I think he has just gone so long with no boundaries and no enforcement he feels he's "entitled" to not have to be responsible for anything. What else can I do????? DH gets mad yells at him but doesn't back it up with enforcing punishment- an hour later he's out watching tv or whatever else. I am the evil stepmother- no question about it because I won't put up with his disrespect and bullshit.

My next move is seek a counselor this week, if DH won't go fine I am, I am on a path to take care of myself one way or the other I have a 1 year old I am raising as well. I am open to any other good suggestions!

Thanks

Comments

JMC's picture

Submitted by JMC on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 2:38pm

Foxie, I'm loving your responses to some of the posts on ST today! You are a freakin riot girl!!

caregiver1127's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127 on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 2:46pm

Foxie - I have loved you from the moment you came on ST. Not to offend and I hope I don't because I loved my mother while she was here on Earth and respect her like no other but you remind me of her - a no nonsense take no prisoners take no bullshit make no excuses kind of gal - I love your advice and you sound so much like my mom that when I read your posts I really miss her. Thanks Foxie!!

ThatGirl's picture

Submitted by ThatGirl on Sun, 10/24/2010 - 6:36pm

Sorry to hear it, Just. Sounds just like the SD13 I have to deal with. I don't have any advice for you, but I'll be reading to see what others have to say in case it can help me in my own situation.

Eagle Eye's picture

Submitted by Eagle Eye on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 12:02pm

This sounds like my issue with SS13 and DH. Just last night DH told SS to shower and I told him to fold his laundry...it took him 6 hours to do 2 loads of laundry. This was at 9 pm so at 10 I looked at my DH and told him I might so strangle SS and he looked surprised. I reminded him that we both told SS to do something and he is still laying in bed watching tv. I know if I wouldn't have said something to DH, SS would never had gotten in the shower and DH wouldn't have noticed. :O

The laundry was never done and no one but me seems to care! Grrrr!

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 2:50pm

My life exactly. I try to disengage as much as possible now. Thankfully, ss doesnt live here so it makes it easier. I make ss do the things I feel like are very importatnt. He has to wash his own bedding as he pees every night (he's 12.5). I will tell him to go wash it and I will stand there looking at him until he does it. I make sure to do it while dh is within earsshot as dh will discipline for blatant disrespect and ss knows it.
Showers/hygiene are another issue-I used to let this go but it came to the point where I didnt want him in my home or sitting on my furniture. So now I will tell him to take care of these issues-if he doesn't I am pretty blunt in letting him know that he stinks. He alwasy denies it-but again my dh will hear and step in.
Dh does not think to tell him these things on his own or as you said he will tell him something and then forget all about it and not follow thru. In my dh's case he does have a mild traumatic brain injury so he has somewhat of an excuse-but it took me a long time to realize that if I prompted ss he would back me up-he just doesnt think to do it on his own.
I did the rule thing about 6 weeks ago too-and ss blatantly laughed and said he didnt have to follow them because he didn't live here. I laughed back and told him to see what happened when he didnt follow them.