I took good advise last week and took all of SS11's stuff away until his behavior rallied. I set down new rules and new consequences with it. SS11 was good all week till yesterday- Dad was home and the shit started when he started back talking me early morning after being asked to take a shower ( he was going to a party at 10 a.m.) and clean up his room. Dad gets up and asks whats the problem now " nothing" . SS11 has been horrible all day, fighting with Dad. I have never seen so much hate and standoff between father and son than I saw last night. SS11 had not seen dad in 5 years till he was sent to us in August- there is so much anger, from the " abandonment" that I think this is a much bigger issue than just dad and son spending time together will cure. I a quiet conversation with husband I told him he needs counseling this is bigger than you and I can handle. Dad works 1-930 pm so 5 days a week I get to deal with SS11 after school have to do homework which is a teeth puller, he doesnt want to be corrected , he doesn't want to read etc.... I hauled SS11 up yesterday for calling his dad by his first name- which I promptly heard him and immediately corrected him and repeated it again in front of dad. Dad doesn't want to seek counseling or parenting class he doesn't need it ( there is a bunch of free sessions where he works). I am ready to call the counselors and seek help myself because I am so close to leaving. I have an opportunity to go back to fulltime work in the next month and want to but am trying to find ways to not disrupt SS11 and our 1 year old but feel like I am hitting brick walls.I am at a loss help!