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Should we keep a portion of the child support?

Soldiersgurl's picture

Submitted by Soldiersgurl on Sun, 07/04/2010 - 8:39am

Ok so my husband pay's 750.00 a month for child support and we have now had the boys for 2 weeks. We have had to make TWO 18 hour trips..One to get them and now one to bring them home because BM doesnt have her own car and even if she did she wouldnt meet us halfway. Not only did we pay her the FULL amount of child support last month but we have been completely broke because we had to pay the whole child support amount while my SS's are visting us (BM has no job) She has threatened my husband that he couldnt see his kids if he didnt pay her the full amount of child support even though we have the children for two weeks which means more mouths to feed,more gas money..more everything. We are desperately struggling to get by as it is. Well, we are driving them back home Tomarrow and barely have enough money for gas to get there and back. She wants us to send off child support before we leave so she knows she will be getting it. The thing is.. We have had them for 2 weeks. Should we keep half of the child support this month to help pay for expenses? My husband is in the process of taking her to court to get a set visitation schedule in the summer. Since we have now had to move so far away due to my husband being pcs'd to another military base. So as of now there is no court documents that state we have to/dont have to pay child support while the kids are with us....Oh and here's a nice little incentive. She sent the boys with barely ANY clothes and told my husband we NEED to buy them clothes because they are going through a growth spurt and nothing fits them anymore....Umm hello,thats what child support is for..right? I mean she is 25 has no job,lives with her mother and gets 600 a month in foodstamps I dont understand where the money is going. When my husband asked her how much of the child support she wanted us to use on buying the boys new clothes while they are here she became irate and said "use your own money, I just bought a 200.00 laptop for our son and I did'nt ask for you to help pay for that did I" started threatning my husband with all sorts of legal action blah...blah...blah.. if he didnt send her whole amount of child support. I need all the advice I can get on this one... Any takers?

Comments

Soldiersgurl's picture

Submitted by Soldiersgurl on Sun, 07/04/2010 - 8:56am

We definitly dont want to get into anymore of a bind. This is just so frustrating. BM is a mess. The whole situation is a mess. I'm really not sure how to deal with it anymore..*siggghhh* day by day I guess

caya506's picture

Submitted by caya506 on Sun, 07/04/2010 - 12:15pm

He cannot pay her any less than the court ordered child support. Also, she cannot withhold visitation in the event your DH did not pay the CS

SusieQ's picture

Submitted by SusieQ on Sun, 07/04/2010 - 12:50pm

Wink Your husband has to pay the full amount for court ordered child support. Unless court ordered, the biomom doesn't have to drive to meet you halfway because your husband was the one that moved away. It was understandable because it was military related. I believe that a judge will take into special consideration that your husband is in the military when a parenting plan/visitation schedule is set...though the children's best interest is the most important factor. Perhaps even order the mother to meet halfway or pay for half a plane ticket..but for now you have to follow the current court order. A judge will also take into consideration how many days the children will be with you and deduct that away from child support paid to the mother. (at least that is what the state I live in does) Unless otherwise stated in the court order, the mother is responsible for clothing, that is part of child support. She should have sent clothing for the kids, but what do you do if they show up with no clothes?...I can feel your pain because bm does the same thing. You could buy new clothes and keep them at your and your husbands house? We have clothes that just stay here at our home, when ss outgrow them we pass them on to my kids..or you could send the new clothes home to bm's home if you don't see stepkids often. Keep your receipts and use them at court. Hope that information helps! Enjoy the time with the stepkids!

violetforest's picture

Submitted by violetforest on Sun, 07/04/2010 - 3:35pm

follow the court order, if you feel that there needs to be changes apply to the court to request them. If the order states that she is responsible for helping to provide transport and she doesn't than she is in contempt and when the boys do not show up you can take her to court for those issues.

Doesnt mean that the court will do anything more than shake their finger at her though.