Have I lost it?
Has anyone reached the point in which you find that just about every little thing having to do with the SKIDS just instantly irritates you? Am I being that irrational? Especially over something as trivial as getting a phone call from SD29 to my MIL during our 4th of July gathering with her, DH and my parents who have gotten along famously with my inlaws.
We hadnt gotten together like this in months and finally got it organized. Damn well we deserve to enjoy ourselves for so much as ONE day ( which we did once she left us alone) without SD having to make something about her
While I am not shocked, still annoyed.knowing how overly dependent she is with my 84 year old MIL as "her rock" and "support system" because she cant always deal with standing on her own two feet.
Thats probably because my MIL and DH are amongst the few people SD wont drive away with her drama and neediness., which I know is because she always has these unresolved abandonment issues and not emotionally mature enough to manage her own problems.
What is she going to do when her rock isnt here anymore? I have no plans to make that my problem.
This is why I probably don't spend alot of time with MIL as I should since SD always has to be that proverbial elephant in the room. I planned a lunch, girls day out with MIL and my own mom later on this month,thats been a long time in the making too. I am sure SD will have to insert herself then, probably like the other day, she knows her Grammyyy is in the middle of plans spending time with me. She might even see that as a competition like with her Daddyyyy Thats also why I wont just drop in on MIL unnannounced since who knows how much SD is hanging around (being the little lap dog. no liife, no job, cant see she has friends) and I just dont want to deal if I can help it.
If you think some of these adult skids are still a little too enmeshed with the DH's/ DW's, wait til they are also what way with the in laws.
I swear if SD could actually LIVE up MIL's ass to avoid life she would.
I get it, Ive been close to my own grandparents. However, long before i was SD's age, once I got close to being an adult, I understood that they had a right to their own lives while I was starting to be more independent and had their own needs that needed attention.
The most annoying thing is that even though I didn't ask at all what she wanted, but all I know that it wasnt anything close to being urgent or an emergency that couldn't have waited til later on or could have been communicated in a quick text. So she had to keep tracking my DH and my MIL when DH didnt pick up ( because hello,. we were busy and she doesn't get that because I know she is miserable since she has no life and nothing going on for her so I guess no one else should either in her mind. Even for one day.
Normally, from anyone else. I wouldn't have thought much of it. but since its SD..and since its not as if she hadn't done this without fail at other previous occasions when she knew full well that that plans were made to spend time with my in laws and DH that ( God forbid) don't include her.
One of these times fell on my own damn birthday for crying out loud which she tried to make about her. That's been her issue.
It was enough she pulled this for Christmas. I find it funny how she didn't have a plan for Christmas Day until she found out that MIL was willing to join Dh and I at my folks place, then suddenly she had some that meant MIL having to change her agenda for that day to suit SD.
Meanwhile, she had the option to show up at a Christmas eve party that's been given at DH's aunt's ( and now my MIL's) place too with an open door policy that's been a long standing tradition for decades which is well known, but I have YET to see SD and her spawn bother to so much make an appearance there once. Same with all these other family gatherings too. My guess is that she has very limited interest in attending these events because that means she wouldn't have my MIL's or DH;s undivided attention. It sure seems that way once you notice some patterns.
I know its sounds crazy, but you wonder if some of these needy "grown" SD's have this kind of radar that goes off when they sense someone is paying attention to or so much THINKING about something else besides Them??? It seems almost uncanny. Got to be why she tries to intercept herself in our plans.
But I'm sure you all know just as much as I do that the issue runs deeper than just one phone call. Comes from knowing that you need to keep that ear to the ground when it comes to sd and her drama of which there's no shortage in sight. Then there is that PTStepKid syndrome that i swear i have. Its undeniable that my anxiety starts ramping up and just instantly tense up over anything to do with her.
Thats when I took the moment to take my dog for a walk, which I was on my way to doing anyhow. ( Thank god for him...our pets are instant therapy so it kept me sane and i had to leave before I stopped being able to bite my tongye..there was that too )
Im sure I still looked irritated even without words and know taking her call as a cue to need to excuse myself looked bad. But then again, that cats been out of the bag and my "true colors" about SD have been shown, so there is absolutely no use in pretending. I am sure I had sent that message ( again) loud and clear..this time alot more calmly then I might have previously.
Dont get me wrong, I am not saying MIL and SD as well as with DH shoudnt have a relationship with each other.
All I ask is that since they are all adults, its on them to faciliate those things which need to be done with or without me. I Just dont want to feel pressured to engage or get involved anymore. I know that DH and MIL ( and supposedly SD herself) would prefer things to be different with me even though they dont directly pressure me. Whatever their feelings and opinions about it they have away from me on them to deal with. Hopefully, I would think that by now, they would get the point that I dont have the bandwith to pretend I want to play along with this whole big happy Family fantasy ,which it would be for my part. So, yes, there is NO reason to keep with the charade IMO.
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I only read the first bit but
I only read the first bit but will read more after the therapy dude goes. my first thought, make your gals date w/ your mom and mil 'media/electronics free' no pads, cells phones,etc. hand them over (laughing while you do) to someone and get them back afterwards,
Thats what I'd like to do but
Thats what I'd like to do but not sure im quite that bold enough to do so, even though I think its a great idea. Can't guaruntee that I could expect that MIL would comply. Just in case Princess PoutyFace has some kind of "problem" ,,like she needs help remembering how to wipe her own ass, or some other stupid shit that can wait. If nothing else, I will announce that I am turning of MY phone mentioning that I want to focus THEM for a little while as im supposed to do , See if that gets that same kind of message across in a subtle way.. Maybe some kind of hint will be taken then too.
Yeah I used to get irritated
Yeah I used to get irritated frequently by my former skids behaviors.
Well they were raised by a Disneyland Dad and a conniving trifling c*nt of a mother ... so just imagine what kind of kids they'd produce....not the kind you'd want to be around any extended period of time
Hell their breeder dump her no-home-training spawns off at my peaceful abode like it was her duty to use my home as 24/7 respite care and if the answer was no she and her kids would get extremely rude and pushy and run multiple guilt trips.
I WISHED those kids would have been up their grandparents a$$ so I could have had a break from their needy clingy codependent shenanigans
Back when SD was an out of
Back when SD was an out of control teen dumped by BM here and there and had to live with us, my in laws were living far away out of state so didnt have that option. Not that she shoudl have been Dumped on anyone else to become someone elses problemn period.
I cant even imagine how my parents and grandparents would react if I did even half of the shit that my SD has done. Thats because I wasnt raised like she was with too much power and control thinking everyone was always going to give her leeway to do whatever she wanted just like with the BM. If you think thats not cute then, wait til the SD;s get to be almost 30 and still act like in that needy codpendent , clingy way. Its effing Ridiculous at this age and have been so over it. All i can do is take control over myself and refused to be at her beck and hall, just let anyone else still coddle her. On one occasion, when she stalked my MIL while she knew we were together, my MIL said she had to take it because "she didnt want SD to get mad at her"?? WTF. Its like oh FFS, just LET her be big mad and Pout for a bit! God forbid her fragile little feelings arent attended to right NOW. My SD is an angry troll most of the time anyhow, so its not like she wouldnt find SOMETHING else to be pissed at . This is the kind of BS I have been dealing with. But, I know all I can do is stand firm on my own boundaries and not get sucked back into that BS myself again.
Just out of curiosity, Amy,
Just out of curiosity, Amy, is your MIL aware of SD's prostitution bust? At the age of 84, Grammy might be inclined to take a dim view of her granddaughter's career choice. Has MIL ever discussed it with you and your husband or is the issue a case of 'the elephant in the room'?
That's actually a good
That's actually a good question, Granny, since it hasnt been brought up at all. I had been wondering the same thing as you and honestly dont know not much more than you do. I havent had the heart to bring the Bust thing up to her since doing so for DH was hard enough. I am sure she knows because right after all that blew up between DH and I, she did text me asking how i was and thinking about me. Wondering how things were at home between us. so im sure she knew what was up even though I wasnt the one to tell her anything. So I just left it at that. I cant imagine she approves of her antics. Is there is even a point thihking of approaching the subject.? The rose colored glasses point of view is always there in some form which I cant control.. Not like I would demand MIL or DH cut her off no matter what. Alli can really do is focus on what I can control and just let them live iwth whatever illusions they still want to have about SD. or let her manipulate them as frustrating as it is.. I just want it clear to them that I am not playing into that anymore. They are going to accept that just like I have had to deal with that those rose glasses that are are never coming off.
Just out of curiosity, Amy,
Dang we got more SD's making "world famous" "bologna sandwiches" ?!? Lol
And you know these seniors be conservative as h3ll .... unless they used to make bologna sandwiches too
I'd scatter some newspaper articles of said p*ssy slanging operation bust and leave a pair of reading spectacles on the kitchen table for MIL to "accidentally" discover
Unfortunately, that window of
Unfortunately, that window of opportunity had passed me by since Im sure she already has an idea. But I like the way you think! I would hope that any ounce of shame for her and DH;s part might be punishment enough. Along with DH dealing with me saying once and for all, do NOT ever put me in the position when I Feel like I have to defend her poor unwise decisions..I know MIL and DH cant poissibly think her "career" is the greatest thing evern. But even so, That really Did me in even more iwtih SD. Just dont look to me to try to put some BS positive spin on her shit or sweep it under the rug! ...that ship has sailed!