Hold the eff up!

Less than a week ago, you moved out because he lost his mind. He should be on his best GD behavior right now!

Is he working? Bringing home some bacon for you to cook up? If not, he can put on his apron and pearla and do it his own damn self.

Why did you go back?!

You need a prescription for a healthy dose of self-esteem before you grow bristles and evolve into the door mat he thinks you are. This shouldn't be about him, but about you- how are you going to make the changes you want to see in your life?

Honey,  I just went back and skimmed your previous posts... you know what?  You do not have a step child problem.  YAHOO!  Ok.. that is the good news.

Unfortunately what you DO have is a partner problem.  He is an abuser... now, he may not have actually made contact with you but he has clearly shown you that he has little to no self control and acts out in violent ways... around you and the children (his and yours).  He is escalating his behavior and it is only a matter of time before he DOES lay a hand on one of you...

In relation to his son, you have a few things going on.  1.  Dad probably feels like he has to make up for the fact that he divorced his mother...and had more kids. poor baby boy.  2.  On top of that, it's not uncommon for older siblings to be jealous of their younger brothers and sisters. 3.  Your husband treats you like dirt.  He is chauvenistic and shows you not one bit of respect for the FACT that you work hard to earn money to keep the household moving along and that you are expected to act as his slave to cook and clean at will.  Why would the boy respect you when his father doesn't show you any?  And.. that's on top of the fact that you have moved in on dad and created kids he is jealous of.  It was fine when HE was prince of the castle... but that has changed.

In relation to you.  You are expected to be the woman and do all the woman things.. get in the kitchen and make me some PIE missy.  Even if you are tired from working your job and taking care of three small kids who seem to create messes faster than they can be cleaned.  Oh.. his responsibility.. well.. he MUST have his video game time even though it makes him virtually absent in the household and from your relationship for hours and hours... taking the place of normal couple interactions and family time.  When faced with a problem he blows up and berates you... Now, I can see he probably was raised in this environment given the fact that you say your inlaws accuse and berate you constantly.

You say you miss him and love him.  Now, I am not going to tell you that you don't actually have those feelings but I think you may have them a little skewed.  You don't miss him.. you miss the familiarity.. you miss what he may have been pretending to be.... you miss the company and the "comfort" that comes from being part of a couple.  Existing in the vacuum of not being in a relationship is scary.. even good change can be stressful.  You are constantly reminded of things like "If I were with X right now, we would be doing Y".. But that brings me to the Love part.  I think you love the IDEA of him... the person he could be if only... the person perhaps he told you he is.. or pretended to be.  My YSD has that weakness.  She finds guys and packages them "neatly" into her perf bae box.   Unfortunately, the guys aren't perfect and basically are just agreeing with whatever she says.. it becomes apparent they don't have the same goals and ethics... but she still steadily and firmly denies all the proof that these guys aren't right for her and keeps trying to push the parts back into the box of BAE.. even though they don't fit.   Every time some new piece of evidence pops up (aggressively looking though phone and grilling her... losing 5 jobs in a year... etc..) she tries to justify it somehow because if she allows herself to believe that her BF DID fail or not measure up to what he should be.. then she has to admit that it was a mistake and she needs to end the relationship.  She is at that point now with her BF of about a year... she is finally seeing what we saw all along... he is lazy and a drunk.  But for so long she loved the idea of him.. the idea of what she imagines he could be.. not what he really is.

So, please believe me, as someone who has experienced the escalating cycle of abuse... there ARE worse things than being alone.  I know it's scary and I know it would be hard with your kids, but I really am afraid that this guys demands and punishments for his perceptions of your "failures" are going to escalate and it may end up being you or one of the kids that is thrown next time and not a TV.  I am not someone who lightly will tell someone to leave... because I do think that sometimes there are ways to mend things.  I just don't see your BF having the desire to change... his lack of impulse control and acting out violently are huge red flags and fatal flaws as far as relationships go.  Believe me, you will be heartbroken for the relationship it never could have been... but you will move on and past this and will live a happier life if you are able to be free of him.

Wow, he is pretty ungrateful and unappreciative. I mean, really, who does he think he is? If he is so concerned about dinner, why does he not cook it?

DH and I both work but DH does most of the cooking. And when I say "most", I do mean MOST (almost ALL). But if ever I come home to no dinner (which is rare because DH likes dinner!), whether he worked or had the day off, it just does not bother me. I'm perfectly capable of getting dinner myself and I so appreciate all of the cooking he does (because I don't like to cook), I would never complain.

Seems your husband might have an anger problem, which can turn into so much more.