I may have said too much
Mom and her "stress relief techniques" aka the pool and a Jamba juice sized blender of Margheritas...let's just say I had one too many (or a little more than one too many lol) and I ended up texting dh a really long rant *knowing he wouldn't read it until today cuz he doesn' stop playing xbox for anything until 3am*
-you'e ridiculous, today's explosive behavior was so uncalled for and so unnecessary. Today I saw a side of you I have never seen before and I don' ever want to see it again. My children were terrified of their own father how am I supposed to come back to that...not knowing what horrible things you'e going to do next.before we can get there you need help ..you need to get therapy your anger is out of control if you ever expect my children and I to live with you,you will sign up for the program and complete it
Dh- I understand and you'e right 100% I don' even know what came over me I feel terrible
Me-yeah well you should you acted like a jackass and while we'e on the subject of you being a jackass maybe you need to see if there is a video game addict therapy as well cuz if things continue the way they are then you won' get me back. Despite your physical presence you'e been an absentee dad..and no not just to my kids to your son as well .don' you think I deserve a hobby or something I can do without the kids? The way it is now it is impossible for me to even paint my nails or anything for me because you refuse to help parent these kids. You just expect me to take care of all the kids and cook all the meals and clean the house and wait on you hand and foot. I'm just supposed to bend over and take it up the @$$ all the time without complaint and I don' even get a thank you? ! Oh and by the way while I'm still on the subject of jackasses..you keep your sisters and mother OUT of our family's affairs! I don' owe those b's anything and either do u why should I have to explain. How I do things in MY home?!
and that was all I said and he didn' reply cuz I assume he fell asleep...um I may have gone too far?
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How do you feel? Relieved?
How do you feel? Relieved? Ashamed? Your last blog was about the toddler breaking the TV that you don't have $ to replace. You have 2 littles and SS?
I think there is a lot of built up resentment and I agree that if what you say is true, he needs to step up as a father and put down the Xbox controller. Can you two talk in person alone?
I feel a mix of relief and a
I feel a mix of relief and a bit of sadness as well, almost like the feeling of oh no why did i say that much..before i even realized all i wrote i hit send.
I have three Littles and a six year old ss. I' not sure I could trust myself in the same room as him right now...I'm still so very angry,and I would probably try to be mean and threatening like how he was yesterday. And that kind of stuff only begets further violent type behavior, I respect him and our relationship too much to try to intimidate him.but the way I feel right now I still feel like I may try just so he knows how it feels
I say stay away until you can
I say stay away until you can be civil but don't keep your mutual kids away if he requests to see them. He is still their father. Also, having 3 kids under 6 is a LOT of stress and responsibility and he needs put 100% effort into raising them just as you do. There are a lot of emotions to sort out right now.
Nah, what you said is long
Nah, what you said is long over due (about lazy *ss Daddy) and yes, the guy needs professional help with his anger and so-forth.
However, I'd really stop now and take this weekend for yourself. Let Grandma chase kids (yeah, three babies is a lot, but she'll wear both herself and the kids out and crash for a nap)... go get yourself a 'me' afternoon. Whether that means having your hair done or just a cheap movie afternoon matinee .
Not really any of my business, but if your finances are pretty low, you might look into assistance for daycare and/or pre-school for the kids part time regardless of what and where your marriage may go next. You need to remember you are not just a wife, not just a mother but an adult with socialization needs of her own. Maybe a part time job where some of your week would be surrounded by co-workers and people of various ages and interest.
Also, be sure you use good birth control, you don't want another baby with this guy ( at least not for a long time to come). Again, if finances are an issues, talk to your local state human services dept and see if Medicaid or planned parenthood could help out with cost of birth control.
My state helps subsidize daycare for low income mothers so they can obtain education and/or work. Don't be afraid to start looking for what may be out there to help you. You need to know what help and options there are so you don't feel you must go back to the environment you just ran from. No one should ever feel there are no alternatives to an abusive and/or dysfunction home.
I think it's better for you
I think it's better for you to say how you feel. YOu've kept it bottled up too long and maybe a lot came out at once but it had to be said. I think partners should be honest and open with each other. I tell DH everything I feel and think - he may not always like it but he feels free to do the same with me. May not always come to a conclusion I like or he likes but we get it out there and sometimes that is all that is needed. Your DH was a being a selfish ass and he needs to step up!!!!
Im in no hurry to go back the
Im in no hurry to go back the kids and my mom are having too much fun (the other twin is demanding grandma listen to all the abc he knows lol) when he forgets what comes next he starts over and mom isn' tired of it yet lol. No I'm not willing to go back until he gets help and I need proof he' going not just take it at his word. I know it seems unfair and untrustworthy on my part but if I have concrete proof he is willing to change then I can feel safe knowing he is doing what is right. He can see the kids when he wants to, I won' stop him but he needs to come here and they don' leave my sight until this is fixed. Side note does anyone know how to get a two year old to stop taking his diapers off?I've tried putting it on backwards but he pulls them down like they'e underpants! Lol maybe this is a sign from him that he may be ready to start potty training? Idk
I think it all had to be said
I think it all had to be said. It may hurt his feelings...but if he didn't need to hear it it wouldnt.
Yeah, I tried not to be an @$
Yeah, I tried not to be an @$$hole about it but I just couldn't get my points across without some mean words
You spoke/texted him truth
You spoke/texted him truth like an adult. You called him on his crap, and told him you won't be back until he gets treatment. You've drawn a boundary, and GOOD FOR YOU! You've stood up for yourself and your children, and put the ball in his court. Now, STOP COMMUNICATING WITH HIM. Let him feel and experience the consequences of his actions. This is the only way he'll learn the lessons necessary to be a worthy husband and father.
This is the best shot you'll ever have at making him man up. If you give in, go back, or even go back too soon, you'll lose all leverage in your marriage. Your H will know you were just bluffing, and will lose respect for you. Make him EARN his family back.
Haven't spoken/text him since
Haven't spoken/text him since sending that I'm putting texting and calls on ignore list unless it' and emergency. Must suck to have to do all the cooking and cleaning by yourself, ironically enough I left on laundry day. Lol so now he doesn' have us or clothes that are clean..welp only thing that he can do now is cook one of the already prepped meals I have in the freezer...let' hope he doesn't give himself food poisoning lol while his mother visits him (like every Saturday when skid isn't here) funny how she chooes to come weekends she knows he won' be here but oh yes skid is perfectly behaved and we'l mannered