Well, I went for it. after 7 years of being childless with 4 stepchildren, we made it official. We had a small private ceremony just him and I and a few close family members. I am now MRS 4Stepping with a whole new set of challenges to come. I'm ready. I have been nothing but kind, loving and giving to the SK and as long as I and DH know that i'm fine, finally fine. They treat DH like he's a piggy bank, they don't call him on holidays, send him pics or cards. The smartest SS in my opinion lives with us and has for 2 years, I think he suffered at home and likes having our attention and in a sense we are a family. He was the best man in our little ceremony. Everyone has known we were engaged for years and we told all the kids we were getting married last year. We didn't tell anyone about this little small ceremony because next year we are having a bigger celebration where all friends and family will be invited and will have a part if they choose. The family on both sides is all spread out and we wanted everyone to have time to save to come out for our wedding, but in the mean time did not want to wait. Now the SD 14 and 18 are complaining, Dad doesn't love and care or he would've told us, he's hiding things from us. I have called and texted them, no response. We ask when they want to come and they don't know. They are not little children anymore, almost all adults now. I love my husband and would've given anything to have had a father like him in my life. They are the ones missing out on having a wonderful loving relationship with their dad. I don't make anything hard for them, I have cooked, cared, cleaned, bought, taught, washed, given and taken their hurtful words for long enough.
DH is also finally realizing the extreme parental alienation that has been going on for years. You can tell the things she says the kids are saying are coming from her and not them, it's things they hear from her and BM family members. These kids are prime examples of who they are around. When they come to visit us sometimes for a month or so or longer you can see the change by a few weeks, by the time they are ready to leave they are almost unbrainwashed, but then the cycle starts over. You see we never talk bad about their mom, in fact we pray for her and her side of the family and the children. The best thing you can do.