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Before its too late SD 18 coming to live

4stepping's picture

Submitted by 4stepping on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 3:19pm

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Ok so my dh and ss are coming home tomorrow and he just informed me sd17 wants to come live with us after graduation. I've read a lot if posts regarding sd and adult sd and little wife or Electra complex and I want to be prepared and ahead of my game. Although she has never said anything "mean" to my face I have seen some behavior from her that could potentially worsen if his does happen. I can't help but wonder why first of all, she's beautiful and she will be 18 why come live with dad and sm in the boondocks? How do I make sure she knows her place and its not little wife to my dh?

Anywho78's picture

Submitted by Anywho78 on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 3:24pm

How to make sure she knows her place is to ensure that your DH will continue to put you, his wife before SD. Your DH needs to understand that you come FIRST. That situations like what happened at Christmas are BS & that you will not tolerate it. He needs to know that you will NOT be put on the back burner for damn near grown adults.

Secondly, are there any expectations for SD if she does come to stay with you? If she's graduating from HS, will she be expected to get a job? Go to college? Pay rent? Surely your DH has some sort of expectations for his soon to be adult daughter? If he doesn't, I'd be VERY wary!