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Step Daughter Problems

kynurse's picture

My 17yo step-daughter lives with her Mother and has pretty much shut my husband out for the last 4-5 years. He texts and calls her, leaving messages daily and she rarely responds. When he sees her in person, she acts like nothing is wrong and says nothing is wrong when asked. Her Mother is very bitter over the separation/divorce 11 years ago(we have been married for 8), and still puts all three children in the middle and tries her best to make him look like the bad guy. The children are the typical victim of parental alienation syndrome. The Mother has made it clear through the years that any involvement with the girls activities will exclude me. My husband brings me to functions anyway, but I feel like the 17 year old is old enough to put a stop to this. The girls and I have always gotten along and have a wonderful time when we are away from the Mother. Help!

alwaysanxious's picture

I wish I had some great advice to make the situation better. I don't. All you can do is let go. You can't change anything here. All you can do is try to support your DH.

In the end, you can't control their behaviors.

Kes's picture

I think you are right about the PAS. It's a pity because usually the kids have started to see through BM's nonsense by this age, and make a decision for themselves about the relationship with the other parent. Her mother has obviously got a lot of control over her, still.
I would suggest to your husband that he contacts her less often, as she maybe takes him for granted if he calls daily. Let her sweat a bit and maybe she will appreciate him a little more. The fact that you get on well with your SD bodes well for the time when she has left home, not so far in the future, because then she will be out of her mother's direct influence and free to have a relationship with you and her dad.