Treating every child equally
My latest issue is the following: Back story is my husband takes me every year to the Mets Opening Day, which we have been lucky enough to do since we met. This year he told me when the date was, I requested the day off and planned to go. Just now, my husband asks me if I was still planning on going. I confirmed and then he said he had a 3rd ticket and he would like to bring his son. We have 5 kids (three are mine: daughter 13, son 11, and daughter 9; two are his: SD11 and SS9). I am not angry about this whatsoever (maybe a little put off because I considered it adult time, but whatever.) So I told my husband that he should take his two kids and I'll stay home. My husband got upset and said I was making him angry. I replied that I'm not trying to make him angry, but it wouldn't be fair for my son to be left out while the two of us take his son. And then I tried to spin it. If he and I took my oldest daughter to a concert, would his daughter be upset? And he responded that he didn't care.
I honestly don't have any problems bowing out and letting him take his two kids. I think it would be nice for them to share that. But I'm frustrated that he's allowed to get angry at me because I would rather stay home than hurt my child's feelings. We would NEVER just take one of my kids to do something and leave all the rest home. It just would never happen, either because I wouldn't allow it or he doesn't think of it. I will add that there are plenty of times when we have kid bonding time as in just my three are home and we do something fun as a family or just his two kids are home, etc...
Just recently my husband vented about my ex-husband having taken my oldest daughter out to dinner and leaving the other two home. He said that he was a shitty dad for doing so. So what now? Why is it ok for him to do it?
I'm just frustrated because he'll never see this as a problem and I struggle with it all the time.
I don't understand this idea
I don't understand this idea that taking a kid out for one-on-one time makes someone a "s*****" mom or dad. I thought that was a good thing?
My parents took us out for one-on-one time regularly, and no one was scarred. Sometimes it was your turn, sometimes it was someone else's turn.
I don't know the full backstory on this, of course...I would just be annoyed that he changed up OUR thing and turned it into a thing for him and his kid. I'd back out, too.
He most certainly can take
He most certainly can take his children at separate times. The issue is that we would NEVER take my children. Here's another example: Last year I was trying to get tickets for a college football game. I looked for tickets for all 7 of us, but the cost would have been nearly $3,000. So of course, I didn't buy them. Then my husband told me he was interested in going. I explained that I looked at tickets but they were too expensive. He told me he really just planned on taking his kids. His reasoning is that only his kids are really interested. Clearly I am answering my own question that this man will never change. I totally get putting your kids first, but I'm so sick of his kids being ahead of mine. And he will never see the problem.
This one child doesn't like
This one child doesn't like baseball. And the girls would just as much like to be taken out of school and spend the day with their parents at a fun event like this. And honestly, I don't think it's a problem for my husband to just take his son. But if we as parents are going together, I'd like it to be all 7 of us or just the two adults.
This use to be your
This use to be your thing..... the adult thing.....
I simply would've said to DH : This use to be our date thing and now you want to bring a child along... eff you I'm not interested anymore... and never ask me if your child can watch while we are having sex.... I would not even suggest he takes another child...
The point being: He took you on this date and it became a tradition, just the 2 adults... why the hell does he want to include one of his children
Why not go online purchase
Why not go online purchase another ticket? That way both boys can go.
1. odds are seats won't be in
1. odds are seats won't be in the same row
2. Not everyone gets massive CS and, therefore, is able to spring for another ticket
I agree, that will be taken
I agree, that will be taken as very unfair to all the other kids in the household. If I were you I would stay home as well.
SNEAKY ??? No. He wants to
SNEAKY ??? No. He wants to go with his SO and his child to the baseball game.
Kelly saids she has her kids 80% of the time. So her ex has the kids 20%. What does he do with his kids in that 20% he has them.
Do they go to baseball games, football games. Do her kids go places with ex. Where Kelly's SO kids only go places if they go together ?
Question, is Kelly's kids missing out or is Kelly missing out with her kids ??
What is your question? If my
What is your question? If my kids have great experiences with their father during their time with him, I think that's great. My step kids have great experiences with their mother when they are with her. I'm not really sure what you are saying about missing out. I just don't want my kids' feelings hurt if we take one kid out of school to go some place fun while we leave everyone else at home. If my husband wants to do that, I'm fine with him taking his son. But I'd rather stay home and not make it bigger than it has to be for all the other kids. I'm only saying I can't understand why my husband is mad at me for bowing out.
Neither kid likes baseball.
Neither kid likes baseball. They are both good students... I think it's just another thing for my husband to do with his son but not think it should apply to any of my kids...
Selling the exter ticket
Selling the exter ticket seems like the only way out. Keep it date night. And buy 4 or 7 tickets to another game if all the kids wants to go