I am married to a man who has 5 children who live with their BM. The kids are: Son 16, Daughter 14, Daughter 12, Son 10, Son 8. I have two boys 11 and 12 from a previous marriage who live with me and my husband full time. The 14 year old girl (my SD) was kicked out of her BMs house and came to live with us. I treated her like my daughter. She made friends both at church and school. She got As and Bs on her report card and started playing her violin again. I even bought her a new violin. She acted very happy. Told me I was a cool Mom. She genuinely seemed to be blending in with my two boys. She and my oldest would butt heads some but nothing that wasn't normal sibling stuff. I do know she missed her friends from where she used to live. She was getting in touble with those friends before she came to live with us. (That is why her Mom kicked her out). She got homesick every now and then and would say she wanted to go home. Not once did she apologize to her mother for her behavior in order to get to go back home.

Right before Chistmas her BM called to ask us what was going on. That my SD was texting and calling her saying that my son was abusing her and that I was bad mouthing her (the BM) and her brothers and sisters. None of this was true. Around the same time SD's siblings were posting derogatory and nasty stuff on Facebook about me and my sons. When we questioned SD about this she said her Mom (BM) was making it all up. We said if you want to go home go home. She decided to stay. We later found out she only wanted to stay because she wanted the stuff I got her for Christmas. I got her an Ipod touch, Uggs and a new coat not to mention the stuff my mom and sisters got her. A few days after Christmas we get another phone call from BM saying we brain washed SD and that she cant take the abuse any longer from me and my son. Mind you the whole tim SD is acting like we are best buddies and going to activities and hanging out with my boys. Anyway we decide if she wants to go home that bad let her go back home. Well the Facebook insults got worse and were coming from all of the 3 older Step kids. Then when we cleaned her room we found a printed out chat session between her and her older brother were she told ridiculous lies to him called me horrible names, etc. Now all the Step kids hate me and are not talking to their Father. I did nothing but treat her like a daughter and give her a good life and now I am a villian! She keeps on spreading more and more lies and is telling the children of people at my church that I mistreated her.

Of course the ex-wife/BM is loving it and not doing anything to stop this behavior. She has no idea her daughter lied to her as well. My husband tried to tell her but she blew him off. Last night I got another nasty email from my oldest SS. At this point my husband and I are just not communicating with any of the children because it makes it worse and the BM is encouraging the behavior. The only thing I can think is that SD did all this to get back in good graces with her BM. All she needed to do was apologize to her not terrorize me, my boys and my poor husband. He is devastated that his daughter is so devious and manipulative. He is crushed. Anyone been in this situation before?