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I feel so vindicated!

StorybookGirl's picture

Something horrible/wonderful happened last night.

My boyfriend went to meet with his child's BM. The conversation was initiated by the BM because she wants to go back to mediation and wanted to talk about what she wanted to bring up to give him "a head's up." He wanted to talk to her about several things, especially her routine with The Boy on her weekends and her VERY bad behavior on Sunday where she basically just stomped into our apartment like she owned it, barked orders at me about her son, then goes into OUR bedroom to berate her ex/my boyfriend who is sick in the bed.

Well, the conversation lasted about 15 minutes. Why? First things out of her mouth are about how the child support she has been ordered to pay is illegal and that he really owes her child support back to when the kid was born and should be paying her now even though he is the custodial parent. She also added that she wants to go back to the 50/50 split they were initially going for before she became homeless (she is currently living in a homeless halfway house program that she can only be in for another year and a half). AND she wants to make the either switch daycare to one midway between them or two weeks at his current one and two weeks at one near her. Mental much?

When she finally shuts up, he tells her she's blowing smoke up her own ass if she thinks she is owed any child support. She gets all huffy, declares she won't be talked to that way. He then tells her that if she does file for mediation (to do so she has to pay ultimately about $230 in all which is about half of her child support per month right there) that she can lay all her BS on the table and the only thing he is going to say is "I'm not discussing anything until she pays her child support." She burst into tears and ran out.

Then calls him and he's on the phone with her for an hour, all the way up until I got home from running errands with The Boy. During this conversation she went all over the map. Said that she only ever moved in with him so that they would get married and she could be a stay at home mom. Considering the fact that her child could not sit up on his own at 8 months, stand up until 13 months, or walk until 16 months...that would have been a disaster. Then blathers on about how can he live with himself keeping a mother and child apart, then it turned into shame on him for cheating on me with her (which is SO impossible and preposterous it is funny), to mocking what he said about how she is not allowed to even so much as drop the child off at the apartment anymore since she proved she cannot respect the tranquility and sanctity of our home. Said she will refuse to meet in public places to do the kid exchange, to which he tells her "have fun explaining that to the cops when I have to call and report you for kidnapping."

I've been saying for a while she was up to something. She was playing nice because she wanted something. He just kept dismissing it as jealousy and overthinking things. He tells me last night "You were right about her. It was all a facade to try and get out of paying money."

God, it feels good to be vindicated. Just wish her playing nice had been real. She's fucking up The Boy in a major way and we are pretty sure he witnessed a very bad fight between his mother and her own mom, but we can't prove it, just he's been acting like a monster since she brought him home on Sunday, even hitting me twice yesterday. Ugh.

Auteur's picture

WOW!!! A BIODAD WHO HAS BALLS AND STANDS UP TO THE BM!!!!!! How REFRESHING!!!!

Watch your back b/c I sense oncoming PAS bigtime!!

giveitago's picture

That's totally awesome!! DH took seven years to tell her to git t' phukk! The kids were his reasoning, I get that up to a point but it was all bluff with her.

StorybookGirl's picture

Honestly, I really truly do love and admire my boyfriend. He has a good heart, great brains, and his main goal with his son is to make sure he has everything he needs, some of what he wants, and grows up happy, healthy, and self-sufficient.

He was going out of his way to try and give her the benefit of the doubt. Honestly, I thought she might be turning a corner, too, but some of her past antics just made me nervous that he was putting his neck out so far. We had some tense discussions about it. I finally said "You do what you think is best because I trust you." And the thing is, I really do. I know he will do what is best for his son in the long run.

Just glad that my instincts were right AND that he recognized that I called it. Yeah, I admit it, I wanted to hear "You were right." At least I never said "I told you so" Blum 3