I am SO agitated
So, quick synopsis. The BM gets the kiddo every other Saturday and Sunday. This weekend, her mom's birthday was on Thursday and she had Friday off so she begged to have him Thursday night and just bring him home Sunday. Boyfriend decided to let her have the extra time. Thursday I actually got off work early which was good because Wednesday night the kiddo made it very clear that one ear was bothering him so when I got off work, I ran and got him from daycare, took him to the doc, got the infection confirmation, then went to get his medicine. Literally pulled up to the apartment a minute before she got there to take him for the long weekend.
Fast forward to today. Today BM and my Boyfriend were planning on having a late lunch/early dinner with the kiddo. Boyfriend was fine when he woke up but by noon was complaining of a sore throat and by 1 had a mild fever. So he texts her after she basically called 5 times in 10 minutes and sent 10 texts to say "I am sick. We will have to reschedule." When she gets here, I was in the bathroom, he was asleep again. She rings the door bell 3 times then proceeds to start BANGING on the door. I get to the door and open it and let her know I was in the bathroom and she just starts coming in with the kid saying "I'm putting him in his bed" and I was so taken aback I just sort of let her do it. She then storms into OUR bedroom and proceeds to yell at my boyfriend that he should have let her know sooner and "by the way, don't worry about getting home early for thanksgiving, I was just uninvited to my family's thanksgiving dinner" and storms out.
I am ashamed of myself for letting her bowl me over like that, but I was caught so offguard. I feel like my home was violated. How DARE she think she has that kind of free reign!
why did he (your boyfriend)
why did he (your boyfriend) and his ex have a "late lunch" planned? Was he going to her families thanksgiving?
I understand that he should get along with her for the kids sake, but that is going too far.
As far as getting bowled over, its hard when they suprise you to defend, but your boyfriend needs to put up some boundaries and explain to her what is appropiate in your (you and his) house. what she did was very rude and disrespectful to you.
This kid must be confused if his parents act like this and then somehow you are in the picture too.
He is not going to her
He is not going to her family's thanksgiving. In fact, she doesn't even know our plans for Thanksgiving (which is we are going to his parents house which is 3 hours away, next weekend for an early thanksgiving). They are working on their communication. She's an irrational bitch. Basically they are wanting to do about one outing once a month maybe just the three of them for communication and to show the kiddo that they can be in the same room and be involved with him without things being negative. I honestly don't think it will go anywhere because she always does the same thing which is gets mad at every little thing. All it was going to be today was meet up at a restaurant, have a meal (she was informed that she is to pay for her meal, not him), and then the kiddo was going to come home with dad. Dad got sick so it all got cancelled.
He is going to talk to her about it. His specific words to try and get me to stop feeling so agitated is "It will be taken care of" and he means it.
The kiddo was SO dejected when she did this, too. When she left, I went to his bed where he was sobbing softly and asked him if he needed a cuddle and he just lifted his arms up for me and nodded yes. So I sat in the floor, pulled him into my lap, and just hugged him for a bit then we went to the bedroom where his dad was and he cuddled with dad for a bit. Then dad goes "want to see something?" and so we get his foot out from under the covers and take the bandaids off the toe that had an ingrown toenail cut out of it yesterday. Kid's all "ew, ouchie. Daddy got a booboo!" and forgot to mope.
I think I'm angrier about the fact that the kid came home stinking of cigarette smoke and obviously feeling bad and likely his mom is the cause. GAH
I am trying to be supportive.
I am trying to be supportive. I know nothing is going to happen between them romantically, but I've made it very clear, these things have to be in public only. But they can't go back to her place anyway since she lives in a homeless halfway house program and visitors are not allowed, period.
They have been communicating better, though she still just does everything her way, but at least they are actually able to talk. He's finally paying attention to my explanations of what it is that make me uncomfortable about some of the things they've talked about doing. Basically it's going to be a 1 to 2 hour outing maybe once a month just so the kid can have quality time with both parents. I don't expect them to last, honestly. She's already made it clear she wants to talk about custody case stuff during these things and he's already told her, that is a topic off limits with the kid around, period.
Oh, and her excuse for what she did today? She and her mom got into yet another fight and she got uninvited from Thanksgiving. Guess what? The fight happened right in front of the 2.5 year old little boy. No wonder he came home so down and dejected!
Oh, and she sent a text apology...ooh, so heartfelt.