Because divorced fathers are stupid sometimes.

Because of the whole notion of "Daddy's princess. Daddy's little girl."

DH treats SS so much different then the girl skids. I tell him he isnt doing his daughters any favors my treating them like special snowflakes.

They feel that if only they can PROVE that they are always there when their daughters "need" them, they can make up for the fact that they couldn't bear to stay with the daughter's mother.

They don't believe that they have their unconditional love, so feel they must earn it. And keep earning it.

My DH has had pangs of guilt but not enough to ever make him kowtow to his daughter. Her treatment of him over the years has pretty much caused her to screw herself. Had she continued to treat him like she did when she was younger (when she adored him), he would bend over backwards for her.

Of course, he still loves her and he worries about her, but he will not be used by her.

It can be with sons as well. Dad will shower him with gifts. Send kind text messages. Call. Call. Cater to his needs, and put him on a throne just to make him happy. SS eats it up and repeats (till my ears bleed) "Daddy I love you. I love you daddy. Daddy....I love you" SESIOUSLY COMING FROM A 16YR OLD because he knows the second he returns to the bm's house his dad will....poof! Disapear. No call backs (unless it is around an event that has to do with gifts). So dad loses the backbone and continues to give give give give. He thinks "if I give him enough or pay enough attention to him, he will begin to appreciate me more. I will be his hero". Sadly, it does not happen. I feel my heart beat faster and faster when I hear the kid and his I love you's because it has purpose, not real emotion.

Cause they are idiots and don't want to see the truth, mine does that, then tries to pass the blame on to you for the crappy relationship.

It's not just SDs, it's SSs too. My husband was the same with his sons. They did not treat me or him with respect. They wanted their needs met and the oldest and very good about throwing tantrums to get what they wanted from their dad. My husband was not a real strong figure and wanted to please everyone. I think he thought by making his children happy that they would learn to get along but it never turned out to be the case.

1. men seem to go after beyoches. its a challenge for them. men love being treated like crap in order to win a woman over. as many of these sds are mini wifes this seems like the case. its the twisted elektra complex.
2. one word: guilt

Misplaced guilt

Misplaced guilt

My DF believed his daughter shit roses . Until he SAW her actions myself ~ for years he thought the sun rose & set on her command.

She is nothing but a manipulative Narcassistic sociopath. Believes her own bs ~ has no compassion for anyone but herself. It's her world ~ the reason I call her Veruca.

A couple of years ago ~ he saw her for what she truly is ~ it killed him. All he was to her was an ATM ~ n the ever needing taxi driver ~ my kids are NOT perfect ~ if they are ever disrespectful I call them out immediately ~ I will not tolerate inappropriate behavior ~ I will never justify that or sweep bad behavior under the carpet.

She's vulgar, rude and plays on your emotions. She will NEVER EVER be welcome in my HOME ~ DF can do whatever he likes w Veruca just not in my home.

It's guilt. Fathers are to provide and protect their offspring. Usually they have to leave their children when the marriage fails. A father can provide from a distance, but he can no longer protect nor be considered a protector. I imagine it's a burden knowing it's an obligation he cannot fulfill. Whether or not it's his fault, it is understood that is the father's role. I imagine a father of the "weaker" sex offspring feels particularly guilty.

I am feeling it's the guilt. And when DH and I got married a few years back, SD remarked she was her daddy's princess. True, I totally agreed. Princess.....FIONA. The resemblance is uncanny! And now she's getting married and is asking for DH's help and if it isn't enough, SD's fiancé has also asked DH for help too. And BM already gave me a call to ask for help as well. Ewww

The issue is removable testicles. Far too many men never get their balls back from their XW or kids in the divorce settlement.

I completely understand this. As a matter of fact, at this very moment, I am fighting with DH because, when his precious little idiot calls wanting something (and, yes, she ONLY calls when she wants something), he will hang up on our conversations to go talk to her. He just did it TWICE in a 3 minute conversation!

We are getting ready to put our house on the market to sale. We were discussing our plans for packing up everything except necessities before we list it. We were deciding exactly what the necessities were. When suddenly....RING RING...and he says, "That's her. Let me call you back." Ok, that's fine. I didn't have a problem with that.

Sixty seconds later, he calls me back. We have just started going over the list of necessities again, and there it is again!! RING RING..."I'll call you back. It's her again." This time, I'm PI$$ED!! He has cut me off TWICE during what, I think, is a pretty important conversation to go talk to "precious"!!!

I am grown enough to realize that part of what I am feeling is jealousy. I completely get that. I know it's petty, but it doesn't change it. I DO NOT like feeling like her phone calls merit him putting me off so that he can talk to her. Let her precious little A$$ go to voicemail!

Thanks. That makes me feel better. He has since apologized for the rudeness.

Because they are so desperate for any crumb that they will take even crap. It is difficult for a parent to be ignored by a child, so a demand or nastiness can in some twisted way seem to be a reaching out or love. Yes, i know it is demented. I dated a guy who had two daughters that were just like this. Both were in their thirties and married with kids, but dad still needed to be kicked to the curb on a regular basis. They were particularly nasty to him when I was around, and they would make him feel guilty for spending time with me. Of course, if I was not around, they would have no interest in seeing him. They only magically needed him if I was there. (We were a long distance relationship). Needless to say this craziness with his grown kids controlled our lives, and destroyed our relationship, which I am certain was part of the point. He has had no successful relationship to date. He will tolerate the nonsense until his dying day, I suspect. Needless to say those two girls who needed him so much both moved several hours away from him.

It is not only with daughters, my DH has a 20 year old son that treats him like shit but is always so good to him and can't say no when his ungrateful little boys wants money and things from him and his son has lived with him full time since he was 8 years old.

They want to be needed, they want to be heroes to their little girls, men are more protective of their daughters vs their sons...... The list goes on and on. Sd calls, Dh gets a woody and runs off to do whatever she asks. I learned to turn the resentment off long time ago. Wasn't worth the effort. Then she gets a new man in her life and she stops calling and he's devastated. I just shake my head and walk off. 

Plain and simple guilt. I agree with everyone else. I just posted a thread myself, so hope this isn't an uninteresting repeat. Two of my husband's daughters do illegal drugs consistently. He offers them money no strings attached left and right even though I have told him repeatedly my job situation is not good and I have had a couple of hospitalizations (broke a toe, got pneumonia). I never asked him for money (too proud), but he also never offered to help me with the hospital bills. I paid for them myself. Whatever they do is OK with him. He gets to play the nice adoring Hero Dad who throws money at them. He can feel better about himself now to make up for past history. I think that's how it is. The hard thing is accepting the fact that no matter how great we are as wives, we're always going to be under/behind his kids. I don't have answers, but what I have been trying to do (which is not necessarily healthy) is trying compartmentalization. That's something guys supposedly are good it. So, that's his relationship with his kids affecting his relationship with me. I mentally cut myself off at thinking about his kids. Survival mode. I'm sorry - I feel for you.

its hilarious to she the sds black mail their father into doing what they want.  its usually money like car payment, cosmetic surgery or luxury items.  recently dh actually located his balls and used them.  what a milestone.  then he backslides once in awhile and castrates himself again.  the sds whining and black mail are powerful forces. 

I agree it could be guilt but I also think men are just idiots. My Dh was a widower so no guilt at breaking up but sd had him under her thumb. She used him in every way and always kicked off, cried, emotionally blackmailed him, used every excuse she could to make him feel sorry for her (in her 30s). That was all happening before I met him. He was a complete doormat all his parenting life. Then when he met me it gave her extra ammo, (daddy doesn’t spend enough time with me , daddy loves his partner more than me, daddy is spending less money on me, etc!). Now I have disengaged, he rarely sees her, no fun for her now I have disengaged. Unfortunately she told s lot of lies and manipulated the family so they also gave treated him like a leper. Sad, she could never be happy that he has someone to care for him in his old age, sad she can’t be happy that he has some companionship and happiness. Her goal in life is to make him guilty for moving on after her mother. He always suggests going for dinner to her etc but now that I step aside and don’t go, she is too busy to see him!