Is this normal?
I have disengaged from osd24 almost 2 years ago after 15 years of dealing with her backstabbing, two faced, and overall hot/cold and underhanded rude behavior. Before I disengaged osd would call/text me more than she would my dh (she punishes him 6 months a year every year until he chase her long enough) until her disrespect for him got so blantant and she started using me to relay her messages to him. When I told her, her issues are with her dad was between them and I didn't want to hear anymore but she could always call/text me otherwise, she became unglued on me and her true feelings for me were crystal clear. I was informed of ruining her and my dh's relationship, treating her like she was not family growing up, causing "all this" damage, winning the battle I've been fighting with her since she was 3, etc.. Which is all the furthest from the truth.
Fast forward:
She called me back in April to inform "us" that my fil passed away (she live with the in-laws) (not sure why she felt she had to call) and told me about all the hospital visits right before he passed. I thanked her and politely ended the call. She called the next day and then texted me asking how she can get in touch with her dad, my dh??? I texted her back to call him or email him (weird I know) as if she hasn't been ignoring his calls and texts at this point. She then texted me the following day asking again and saying she wasn't trying to cause drama just wanted to tell him she loves him. I called her and discovered she had my number blocked and did not get my first text. At that point I told her that until we have a discussion about her last text to me and/or a sincere apology is given I would rather she not call me again and that it was not okay to just start calling/texting me like she hadn't said all that to me. I knew she was about to get started with her never ending drama again (she usually ease into it after she decides the punishment is over for us and/or I) and I wanted to nip it in the bud. After years and years of this cycle with her, I'm over the drama.
She texted me yesterday asking how I was doing. I replied with "okay" and she text back "how are the kids". I have not replied back. 2 of "the kids" have their own phone and she's had no problem calling/texting any other time. I only want an explanation or apology and am sticking to that with her.
What do you all think of this? It's like I'm her bio and my dh is the step. I have never stood in the way of their relationship, I'm just done with trying to have one with her. I still encourage dh to reach out now and then and he have texted her "I love you" to no avail. I just don't understand why she is bothering me. Ughhh
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Sounds like my SOs 17 yr old
Sounds like my SOs 17 yr old daughter. She'll punish her dad by not answering his calls or texts when she's mad. He & I are almost 3 yrs into our relationship and I saw how manipulative she was very early on. She learned from her BM who is worse. I think ur SD loves the drama and u were probably the safest person to call when she was acting out. And still punish her dad by not talking to him directly. You're doing the right thing
Yes, they do sound alike. I
Yes, they do sound alike. I saw the manipulation early on as well and yes, she learned from her bm as well. I just wish I would have stuck with setting boundaries years ago even with my Disney daddy dh and his guilty parenting.
No, it is not. She's playing
No, it is not. She's playing games. Don't let her try and put you in the middle: Block her. How old are your children and are they her half-siblings? Depending on their age, I'd block her on their phones, too.
Obviously, SD has your DH's phone number and email address AND your home address. She can call him, text him, email him, or write him a letter. You do not need to be part of whatever dramatics she's trying to play.
SD21 and SD24 (DH's step) both tried a similar tactic. DH comes home and leaves his phone on the nightstand. If he hears it, he MIGHT answer. Most of the time, he doesn't hear it (he has hearing loss). If he doesn't answer, they try blowing up my phone. I do NOT answer calls from toxic, game-playing, drama beeyotches.
Yes, she is definitely a game
Yes, she is definitely a game player. That makes sense as she was so used to me being the bigger person and overlooking her behavior (as long as it didn't effect my home, kids or marriage directly). I guess she's trying to see what works. Our Bk's are 18, 14, 8 and 7. I did tell her, right before I disengaged that I wasn't going to stop her from having a relationship with her siblings but if I found out she ever tried to berate us to them, that I would block her from their phones. She spent years trying to brainwash my ysd21 against us, especially my dh so I know she's capable.
I've had the calls as well, if they could not get a hold of dh. I think I will take your advice on not answering and blocking her. Thanks! Oh and I love your tagline.
My drunkard often homeless
My drunkard often homeless SS32 has been thru so many cell phones that he long ago lost my phone number - so I didn't have to block him. But after his last transgressions I blocked him immediately from FB (the only way he had to contact me). I didn't tell him why or give him any warnings - he is just now DEAD to me.
I don't give a *&^&*() what he says or thinks about me. My DH is free to see him, etc. but not me. My DH doesn't like being in the middle between us - he recently said that I should just talk to him directly. I looked him in the eye and said that if I did talk to him there would be NO filter - would he really like that?
she is playing with you, why
she is playing with you, why do you allow it, she's an adult and you have no responsibility towards her,
block her from contacting you, she not your family, if there's problems she can contact her father straight out, simply disengage from her and step back, her only mission in life is to eff with your mind