Oops she did it again...
So i knew it was too good to be true. Figured after DH came unglued on SD last time she asked to be bailed out it would be over. So yesterday she posts how much her life sucks on Facebook for the gazillionth time. This time it is because she had to dish out $700 bucks to get her car fixed and that was the rent money. Now no money for rent. Mind you she has not had a job in about 10 years but you cannot tell her that if she worked (or hubby got a better job, second job, whatever), she would have extra money (i know, what a concept).
So she pops an IM to my husband on Facebook and asks to "borrow" the money. Let me just say that the last time she "borrowed" money from us, she only paid us back part of it (and had a bit of an attitude when we asked for it) leaving us with a $400 dollar credit card bill for the rest. So i said, that is it... sorry no more loans.
So i told DH that since he has been out of work (about a year and a half) that this makes me feel violated. I am working, I am juggling around bills and not for nothing, money has been tight. But of course, none of his kids ever think about anything but their own drama. We are supposed to just whip stuff out our you know what and send it over!
Next month, i get an extra paycheck and am thinking, wow i can do some Christmas shopping for my own kid who is 7... but instead i have to finance stupidity again?
I put my foot down this time. I said, sorry i am not doing it! He says "We can take it out of savings, can't we?" I say "No" Then i say "Excuse me if i am wrong, but did you not tell me at one time that her husband has a 401k?". He says, yes and there is about 10k in it! WTH! So i said, good, tell her to take the money out of that then. I said, they do realize that when we bail them out, that is what we are doing right?
I tell you, i am sick of being the only one that makes sacrifices. Being the breadwinner, cutting expenses, my kid wearing thrift store clothes, denying myself things... why so SD can buy her bratty kids another ipad for Christmas?
The buck stops here! Stop the insanity
You take that extra paycheck
You take that extra paycheck and buy your 7 yo nice things for Christmas! My goodness--Christmas is such a magical time at your son's age. He shouldn't go without. Your SD is married and they should pay their own rent!
If this skid is married, she
If this skid is married, she and her own husband need to deal with their own self-inflicted financial problems. That's how they learn from their mistakes. I hope your own little 7 yo guy gets a nice Christmas with that extra paycheck.
Married for 15 years, has not
Married for 15 years, has not worked in 10 or so. Her husband does not make hardly anything and so they are always in perpetual financial crisis mode. They get government money for rent (subsidy) and who knows what else. Her justification for not working is that she does not think she will make as much as they pay toward the rent and i say.... BS!
Maybe i am old school but when i was in my 20's (before i got my degree), the only jobs i could find were crappy. If one crappy job did not cover the bills then i got another to subsidize the first.
Is this generation so much more different? It seems like nobody wants to put any effort into Life 101. Easier to do nothing and then wait for something to blow up and then go "Daddy, fix it for me..."
Of course my DH always feels that guilt. I wonder if that ever goes away? Probably not, but i told him today, i said not for nothing, you are going to be 60 and you are not going to be working much more. Your daughter has 30 or so years left to work, save, buy a house. They should be thinking about YOU and the fact that you are older and not their own DRAMA all the time.
I know i am in fantasy land again... expecting her to get it. Never going to happen!
Yep, her DH can even borrow
Yep, her DH can even borrow from his 401K and pay himself back, with interest, with payroll deductions. It's time for them to rescue themselves. What would they do if Daaaddddeeee were not around?
lol, what would they do? Oh
lol, what would they do? Oh brother, that is the million dollar question. Do you have a card board sign and a tin cup?
I think that is awesome..
I think that is awesome.. Good for you...
lol, well he can't because he
lol, well he can't because he is unemployed! We do have a joint savings but that is only for emergencies and i am pretty adamant about it. It is not just "his" it is "ours" and i have expressed to him that we need to have that because what if i loose my job? He get's it.
To be honest, if he went back to work and sent half his check over to his idiot kids i could care less anymore. I just do not want to be the only one working and bailing them out with my hard earned cash. It makes me feel, like i said before, violated. I need to take care of my family first, my little boy. His kids are not my problem anymore.
So far, yes we are sticking
So far, yes we are sticking to our guns on this one! My husband is backing me up and he has not even responded to her.
So let me ask, Is this a generational thing? I am only 48 but i don't get it. Since i have been married my parents never knew about anything about my financial woes. When they would ask i would say "everything is fine" because i did not want them to worry about me or my family. I would say this even if i was freaking out about the fact that we had 20 bucks left until the end of the month.
We manage and to be honest i never thought about asking my parents for any help anyway.
But my SD gets an attitude because DH has begun to disengage. He talks to all of his kids less and less. Why? Because everytime he talks to to any of them they dump drama on him with a not so subtle hint about how he has to fix it (money and more money). After 22 years, it is getting old. Do you think any of his kids think that this might in fact upset him, make him feel bad or worse yet, not want much to do with any of them after awhile? No, because all that matters is them... narcissistic and selfish, unbelievable!