A friend's comment
I have a good friend, who is a therapist for children, who sat with me this week and her words have truly helped me. She agreed with me that dh's parenting has created an ex and adult children who never take responsibility for their actions, and likely they are sociopaths. She said that likely dh is a good step to my kids because he doesn't worry about what they think of him. And he is a good husband.
His role as a FATHER has never included me. We do not have children together. I do not have to agree with his father role or even be a part of it now.
And for some reason, this as helped me tremendously! I don't need to think of dh as a father, or get angry over what he does because I am not a part of it! That role, just like his role at work, as a son, brother, etc is off limits and out of my hands. I do not need to go there. And his daughters? They do not exist.
WOW - this is very thought
WOW - this is very thought provoking and true - your friend is very wise. It has put things in a little perspective - thank you
Excellent point. I will try
Excellent point. I will try to remember the "role at work" part. Never thought of that.
Thank you!
And I believe that dh
And I believe that dh recognizes his failings, and now is working in the role of orchestra conductor, trying to lead everyone to happiness. But it is set up to fail, because he does not allow people to have negative feelings, or any feelings of their own. I think this analogy will be what helps me step back and out of his father role with his children. I am his wife, I am not mother to his children, so in essence it is not my place. I do not get involved in his work career, why should his role as father be any different?
I love that what your grandma
I love that what your grandma use to say!!!
And the do, did get, got is also grand!!!
Thanks you for that!
BM would lie down faster than
BM would lie down faster than a dog can trot while spreading her legs.
I would say the same about SD
I would say the same about SD and her BM. The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. }:)
A few years ago, SD showed
A few years ago, SD showed her behind after I moved in and DH was mortified that she wasn't a sweet little princess after all. One day he apologized for doing a horrible job of raising her. I feel he's ruined her by coddling and enabling her. She's evil and mean-spirited just like BM.
When DH wants to invite SD over, I recommend they meet at a restaurant. He pretends he doesn't know why. I'm amazed our DHs expect us to completely forget about that fact that we've been treated like !@@ (like they do), and turn the other cheek. I've shown SD kindess only to be ignored and dimished every opportunity she gets. So at this point, she's like a distant relative that I never talk to and only see a few times a year tops, and I intend to keep it that way.
Sociopath is a very strong
Sociopath is a very strong word and a serious mental disorder. I would think twice about your friend's credentials and therapeutic abilities if she's this comfortable making such a diagnosis is what I assume was a casual setting.