Suffering
It seems to me that one of the most difficult things to do as a parent is to let or watch your kid suffer. Even when you know its for the best. Even when you know its the only way they will learn the lesson. Even when its caused by the other parent. Especially when its caused by the other parent.
No kid ever died because they got stuck wearing old clothes that their mother deemed appropriate. No kid ever died because they didn't have the same as their friends, step siblings, the neighbors, the Kardashians.
A lot of kids fail because of over indulging parenting styles, falling into the trap of making up for a manipulative parent who withholds from the kids to make the other parent pony up. Parents who would rather be a friend or not even parent at all.
There are a few stories on here right now, unfolding as we type. I see a running thread that is underneath all the turmoil. The inability for the parents to let a kid suffer, whether it from choices the kid made or from the games of a pathological parent. Teenages IMO are plenty old enough to advocate for themselves if given the words and support they need to do it. They are stuck with their parents for life, so why protect them from it?
(of course I need to say that going with out food and other basic necessities is NOT what I'm talking about, so don't even bring it up)
So, looking back on your upbringing, how much did you "suffer" and how did that teach, motivate, change you?? And why would you want to protect your child from that??
Absolutely. Doing better for
Absolutely. Doing better for our own families is a natural goal for viable adults. That doesn’t entail forgoing the lessons we learned being raised by our own parents, good and not so good, and basing the raising of our own children on what we learned and witnessed as children.
Rather than suffering I look at what you are posting about as learning. The best learning tool is experience. Unfortunately few people can lean quickly from their own mistakes and even fewer can learn from the mistakes of others.
Deep breaths mom. We figured it out, so will our kids.
My brother almost wept when
My brother almost wept when his 16-year-old daughter wasn't chosen for a special school chorus. She'd been chosen the year before, but not the next year. He went on and on about it. This is a man who can watch an animal suffer without flinching.
I thought this was a good chance for this privileged girl to see that money and the best clothes doesn't mean you're better than the poor kid next to you. My brother saw it as his kid getting the shaft and poor people getting all the hand outs.
I don't know what's up with these parents. They baffle me.