Is this even supposed to work?
Step kids, blended family's, living with and raising someone else's kids, having to see and deal with the mother and or father of those kids. It is not a natural thing. These relationships are born out of the failure of another relationship. How can it work? It takes a group of amazing people who are willing to sacrifice and not be selfish and treat everyone equal. One person doesnt adhere to this the whole thing crashes. I don't know i just don't see it as something that is even supposed to occur and therefore can almost never work. My SD 21 hates me because i don't make as much money as her daddy and she wants BM and daddy back together. My 7 yr old SS is a spoiled brat because daddy feels guilty about moving 900 miles away from him. BM feels guilty about divorcing daddy and her kids having to "suffer". Therefore she shows little to no discipline and they don't have any respect for her. BM and daddy stay married this doesn't happen and best of all i WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION!
I have an old friend. She
I have an old friend. She has a BF who has an 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship. My friend and her BF also have a 2 year old son together. My friend is friendly with the 11yo BM, they communicate, put the 11 yo first and dont play games. My friend recently said to me "why cant you just be friends with BM?" It was the craziest thing I ever heard. My BM is the nastiest, insane, most vindictive, lying, manipulative, selfish and money hungry person I have EVER met. I have never wanted to actually harm a human being but I would beat the $hit out of her if need be. So, yes, everyone needs to be on board for these messed up arrangments to ever have a snowball's chance in hell of working.