Stepmom life is just not for me
Hello everybody i posted few times on this forum . I just want to rant. Anyone just regret marrying a divorced man with kids. I just feel like this is not for me . My husband constantly messaging his ex wife( about his kids usually) and fighting all the time, is this a normal life for people who married a man or woman with kids, is she going to be in my life forever.. I never wanted to have this I just want a normal life and normal problems. Plus why do I have to live with his kids. Is it wrong to ask my husband to have his kids in the house and me and my son move out to an apartment. Almost 4 years married and still have a hard time accepting someone elses kids, i know it is messed up but i cant get over it. I am looking for another job 1 hour away so i can use it as an excuse to move out i cant do this i swear
Its not for everyone
Steplife is not for everyone. There is no "you know what you signed up for when you married a man with children..."
Yeah, its normal. Is this relationship accepable to you? Time to think if you should stay in it. As skids get older, the BM gets less and less hold on your life. Consider therapy. Or leaving.
I HAVE heard of people who stay together, apart. And it working for them...
Your husband sucks. Is he
Your husband sucks. Is he still ignoring the baby? I looked at your previous posts. I don't blame you for wanting to leave I would too.
I have lived seperately from
I have lived seperately from DH going on 1.5yrs now and its great. He lives at his own place 10mins away and i have my own property. This arrangement happened because of his devil child who i refused to be responsible for any more. My son is 19, still lives with me but has launched into his own life as an apprentice engineer. DH's son has just turned 14 , been suspended from school several times for fighting and bullying , steals and lies all the time and just down right made my life a living hell!! I completely wiped my hands of this kid and told DH he needs to parent and raise his own kid and he can do it by himself with no help from me,,, I have done my child raising and im not doing it again for a kid that has no respect for me. It took DH a long time to accept this. Its great now as we date like teenagers and i dont have anything to do with his brat. I get my own time the week that he has the kid and our relationship is much better for it
"My husband constantly
"My husband constantly messaging his ex wife( about his kids usually)"
What does he have to say to her about the kids if they're living full-time with you? Why is he "talking" to her when he has a wife of his own?
What is it that you fight about? IMO, fighting is not good and a pretty good sign that this marriage is in serious trouble.
Why do you need to ask your husband if you can move out? When you've had enough, you've had enough, right? Plus he's treating you and your son like roommates (judging by your other posts), not like family. I couldn't live with that kind of put-down.
Keep looking for that job but bear in mind that you don't need an excuse to move out, just get your ducks in a row first. And there's no reason not to find a place closer to where you currently work, you don't have to move an hour away. Start putting yourself first.
Frankly, I think that, given how he's treated you so far, divorce might be a better option ...
She is his X. He has no
She is his X. He has no business contacting her about anything other than his visitation schedule and to drive results for the money he pays her to raise his children as the CP.
PERIOD!
And he shouldn't engage the
And he shouldn't engage the BM when she texts and calls about anything other than visitation and "real" health matters re children. Smells fishy.
Stepmom life was miserable
Stepmom life was miserable for me too but I don't have kids so my chances of being able to find someone without kids are much higher than yours. The only reason why I say that is because I don't want you to leave thinking you'll be able to find someone without kids only to end up being a step mom again. Once you have kids, you usually date people who have kids. Yes there are exceptions to that rule but usually people without kids want to date the same. Why would we chose to be bothered by and have to sacarfice so many of our freedoms for someone else's kid when we don't even have one of our own. Not judging, that's just the logic a lot of childless people have, myself included.
So that's something to think about before you chose to depart...the grass may not always be greener but in your case, you might be happier on your own which is great too.
Best of luck xoxo
It is not for everyone
I have asked myself this many times. No the bickering back and forth is not normal and a way to stay connected. I had that problem at first then finally the BM was blocked... and well now that we have the kid there's really no reason for it. It was always one thing or another at first.
My SD adores me honestly I have no complaints with that however it is NOT easy to deal w/ other ppl children and at times I have to realize that her mother is still her mother and she will always trump me no matter how much I do for the kid. So I do very little honestly because of the toxic dynamics of it all.
I fantasize about running away all the time. I am working from home full time now and it totally sucks!