Husband puts his kids before our son
My husband has 2 kids from previous relationship SD14and SS16 they live with us full time
We havr been married for 3 years. i have no emotional attachment to them but i treat them good .,But my husband is obsessed with them he always puts them before me or our 6months baby . He never goes to his doctors appointment he never play with him hold him or take care of him even tho he tell me he used to take care of his other kids and used to change their diapers do everything for them. He spends all his time with them but he doesnt seem to care about my baby .maybe bc he already experienced this before so its not special to him or he feels guilty . Iam really disgusted by his behavior and started to hate him and his kids . I really regret marrying someone with kids . Maybe it would be different with someone who doesn't have kids
you need to sit down and lay
you need to sit down and lay everything out on the table and explain how your feeling ,,,, speak your truth even if he doesnt like it or it hurts. Maybe there is a simple reason for him to act like this but he doesnt know how to communicate it. He may think that his older kids are really close to being adults and leaving the nest in the next few years and he is putting everything into this before that happens. does his teenagers interact with you and your baby as a family ?
Is he like that when they are
Is he like that when they are there??? or does he let you do all the work with your son when they are gone too.
I think you may be dealing with a combination of things.
First.. your DH is misremembering what he used to do with his kids.. he likely changed a diaper a couple times.. etc.. but he was probably not the super involved daddy that he leads you to believe. He remembers changing a diaper.. that translates to He used to do it with his kids. He probably relied on his EX to take care of his babies.. just like he relies on you..
Second, when his kids are there.. he may spend time taking care of them since he knows you are busy taking care of your child. Those kids don't have two parents there.. your child does.. so he knows you are taking care of the baby..
and... back to the fact that he likely wasn't the great baby whisperer that he claimed he was.
I think you can be forthright about the fact that you would appreciate some assistance though.. even with the skids there... that it seems he isn't as involved as he said he would be.
I will say that I am not a huge 'baby person' I don't know what to do with them.. I don't think they are interesting really.. Until kids start being to the communication age.. I just don't have much interest in being around them.. but I understand babies need hugs and holding from their parents.. but your DH likely didn't do what he said with the older ones..
YOu may have to be more forward about it... "here DH.. can you hold BB for a bit.. I need to go take care of some things in the kitchen"
You need to have a come to
You need to have a come to Jesus with your H and tell him he needs to do more for his youngest child. And start requiring more from him in real time. Hand him the baby and say, " Baby needs changing, Dear. And please fold the laundry. I'm taking a bath". Or leave the baby with him while you do the grocery shop. Create opportunities for him to parent, praise him when he does, and make feeding, changing, holding the baby a regular part of his life.