Pro-Active Teacher and BMs colors showing
So on Friday morning SS's teacher asked if she could call DH about some concerns. This worried DH and I as we knew there was noticeable tension at open house Thursday night.
Teacher called tonight and wanted to again make sure we got the note (from the drama causing birthday gift) because she noticed BM had tension towards me especially with her not retuning it. I don't think BM realizes the fact the teacher emailed me and said she was putting a note on the behavior calendar (that has to be signed nightly) for BM to return it in the folder to the teacher and she didn't shows the teacher she doesn't like me but is going to handle things how she wants regardless of what is asked of her.
Also wanted to talk to DH about a separate parent teacher conference, as she knows DH will be gone when they are supposed to be and told DH she thinks it would be more constructive separately.
She also wanted to tell DH she was concerned he is cries a lot when BM walks him to the classroom/takes him lunch and lingers (I already have a plan if she shows up when I am taking him lunch we know another kid at the school I'd give the lunch to)
Lastly, she is concerned he has a lot of tardiness at her house. And wanted to make DH aware of this as she didn't know if he knew and was just concerned.
DH handled it well and didn't down BM but just said he knows that the houses can be complete opposites for SS and he is just happy to hear he is doing good in school.
I was sitting outside while they were on the phone. It made me feel good that the teacher didn't really bring up me except that she thought it was sweet I took SS lunch while DH is gone. But more importantly it made me feel good that BMs true colors are showing and the teacher is being just as pro-active ad DH who emails her while he is gone to ensure he really knows what is going on.
Yay for people seeing through the bullshit. 
Most people on the outside
Most people on the outside looking into our kinds of situations can usually see through the bull crap that's being pulled and this teacher sounds like one of them. ***** FIVE STARS for the teacher.
It is awesome! I can only
It is awesome! I can only hope that he continues to get such attentive teachers.
I hope SD gets teachers who
I hope SD gets teachers who are good at sniffing out bullsh!tting crazy people lol
No doubt your SS will benefit from this and hopefully with an attentive teacher, he will thrive and progress over the year
He is doing really good right
He is doing really good right now - but I can tell when DH is gone the teacher has a whole lot to do with his success.
I hope the same for your SD and if not this year next year - because my hope is that with one teacher seeing it as he grows the communication of how BM is will flow through the teachers lounge without us saying anything...as we just keep our mouths shut already because it is not worth the drama...and it's worse to be the one talking shit than it is to be the one on the other side because most see that as you truly being the initiator of the turmoil in that child's life.
I agree, skids teachers this
I agree, skids teachers this year especially since SO has really been involved the last year after getting his CO finalized. Our principal at their school is also a PhD in child psych which helps. They all communicate well with SO and we provided all involved (even the secretary who just loved me for it lol) with a copy of the custody calendar, we update it for them if changes are made in advance, they know who to initially contact depending on who the kids are with and who to secondarily contact. Teachers have been very vocal about BM's complete lack of interest in the kids schooling only if they are in enough trouble to get sent home or kicked out of latchkey. They make sure to send home extra reading packets on our time ( the regular packets rarely get marked done at BM's) I'm glad they see he cares, one of them asked about emailing me to SO I do not do much with their schooling as I'm not home half the time, but I do occasionally check their work and make them fix mistakes, fix sloppy writing and they can always read out loud to me. SO said that at this time it's not necessary but to feel free to address any issues or concerns with me when I pick them up from school (rarely)ss's teacher did say they really love how I have so many books they can actually read on their own made me teary we love books (well except SO lol) he did however start reading Peter Pan to them tonight 4 pages a night he said I'm holding him to it, and may even help.
She emails when important
She emails when important events are coming up to either DH and I. Even though BM insist she will tell us it is so nice to see teachers helping out.
Oh I'm sure she has seen much
Oh I'm sure she has seen much more. Infact I know she has SS barely gets in trouble but he got into some last time DH was home because he was refusing to do his work and when the teacher asked why he wanted to wait to do it his response "SBM does her work at home sometimes so why can't I". It was kind of hard for me not to giggle because I do work form home 1-2 days a week to save on gas as I normally have a 75mi trip each way.
It is awesome to see BM make herself look bad - like with the note when the teacher emailed to see if I got it and I said no so she said she would send a note home my response was that it was okay not to worry about as all I cared about was SS getting to give you something - it was along those lines ....yet BM sold herself out for disrespect and control.
The teacher approached the conference thing before BM has even asked - I am sure she will throw a fit though as last year DH was gone and so BM did a conference and didn't know that DH did a call in with the teacher. I'm sure she will want to know why they can't be "united" for the child etc but all DH has to say is Ms. F wants to meet with us separately it is awesome. I'm just glad the teacher sees all the benefits for SS because he deserves the best situation.
As for the crying - he throws tantrums and cries around BM all the time. I legit walked out of a basketball game for his team in January because of him throwing a fit and her letting him...it is embarrassing. I know that last year him crying worked for her to pull him out - however truancy wasn't involved...I think if it wasn't for truancy having the right to be involved this year she would probably continue to pull him out. Crying is his way of trying to get stuff - he even tried it with DH last year and now DH refuses to take him lunch. He doesn't cry with us he will ask or get pissy but he knows that we expect him to act his age with us...hence why the teacher sees him being a completely different kid.
Thank you for telling me great job...I really just want the best SS deserves it. I don't want him to see drama and try to avoid, as like in my original post BM makes it known without additional help, and I hate that for SS. This is why I was so happy when the teacher called wanting to address BM issues to know that at least at our house we are doing our job about trying to simply just provide the best drama free environment.
Last year the teacher was a
Last year the teacher was a former friend of BM - it didn't come out until like April the teacher could no longer stand BM after seeing what kind of parent she was.
I am hoping that now that SS will now be in the same school teachers will notice how she acts and how the current teacher is handling it. We pretty much just try to let BM ruin herself.
We want to put SS in a private school but can't afford it and BM refuses to try to help get financial aid (we cant because DH makes to much) because her eldest son can't go - so it looks like until money is caught up he will be in the same school so like I said I can just hope other teachers see as well.
That's awesome that the
That's awesome that the teacher is seeing through BM's bs. I hope SD's teacher is the same way.
I totally understand about the 2 opposite households issue- at our house, we are very structured. SD has her own room, a bedtime, I try to encourage her to eat healthy, she does dance classes, etc.
BM doesn't have her own place- she just stays wherever someone will let her and her kids stay. Often, it's with BM's mom, where SD does not even have a bed, much less her own room. It's really sad.
This is why we have been keeping SD during the week so that she does not have issues at school because of BM's irresponsibility and screwed up life.
But again, awesome teacher!
Every post you make my heart
Every post you make my heart breaks for y'all and your SD she is so young and sounds like has a tough life with BM and the transitioning.
Yep at our house we eat dinner, and even if SS is not tired at bedtime DH tells him that he has to be tired and puts him to bed. They wake up and have a normal morning routine.
BM has her own place but is a cluster-f*ck to say the least. Last year DH tried to justify SS's tardiness every once a while as BM had to take kids to schools on opposite sides of town though the bus is available...this year the schools are across the street actually not even the street there is a bus driveway in the middle of them so there is no reason SS should be late.
No, there is no reason she
No, there is no reason she should be late getting skid to school.. not regularly, anyway. She needs to make that her priority!
I don't understand why these BMs even have kids if they aren't going to take care of them. They normally don't just stop at 1 either. My SD's BM has a total of 3 kids by 3 different men (never married to any of them) and doesn't take care of any of them smh! You would think she would have learned by now that she shouldn't be having kids. It's really sad.
She won't -- this past Spring
She won't -- this past Spring the kids missed because SHE was sick - mind your her mother has no job and lives with her half the time and could have taken them.
BM has 2 kids, 2 men only married to DH and DH wanted to divorce her and met with a lawyer the day she announced she was preggo which is why he stayed.
I truly feel bad for our Skids.