You are here

phone call

Thursdaysarethebestdays's picture

this is skids first week back from spending 31 days with BM. skids came back on Monday evening and yesterday, 2 days later, BM called, then text, then called again to talk to the kids. She said she just wanted to see how they were doing...its been 2 friggin days!

sbm014's picture

Feel lucky...our BM will call about twice a day if not more, and if she knows SS is around either myself or MIL (we do a lot of outing with her and my BIL9) she will call our phones if DH doesn't answer.

Mind you DH calls once a day when he is at work but he is gone for 3 weeks at a time and most of the time looking at phone records its BM calling him because SS wants to tell his daddy goodnight and they do a daily countdown to him being home - SS seems so much happier at our house than BMs (whole different story but he ran back to the truck last time we dropped him off)but to me this is different she is maybe away from SS5 3-7 days a time and he doesn't even ask to call his mom.

overworkedmom's picture

Send a request to her asking that she limit her phone calls to once a day between a specific time. She is just trying to make herself present in your life and that is ridiculous.

sbm014's picture

I am unsure if you are speaking to me or OP but our strategy is all of us don't answer and DH will say SS is busy - which typically he is the kid is non stop and we try to find things to do such as state parks, zoo, cave day trips and stuff that if we do answer SS will say "yes ma'am ok love you bye" and hang up on her all on his own so she gets the point we are doing other things. It used to bug is but now like I said we don't answe or SS is so not into it once she hears that she will leave us alone until she thinks its he should be going bed soon, or she wants to say goodnight before she goes out for the night.

I will say I hate hearing her voice as we have to put her on speaker to monitor what she says as she has made SS cry or drawback from both of us by talking crap saying we refused to let them talk earlier even when she never called earlier in the day or SS himself had hung up on her. Her voice is worse than hearing the phone ring

thebrokenrecordmachine's picture

Yes....this is how BM is as well.
We took the kids on a mini Vacation to Niagara Falls and slept over for 1 day..on the way back home it is late between 8-9 pm, BM calls and is like, "Where are you?". Her kids are 13 and 14 turning 15...their not little anymore.
I think its her way as I think it was mentioned before, letting her know her presence is still known....either way its annoying!

Its_My_Life_Too's picture

The BM in my situation either never calls or calls constantly. Sometimes we'll get up to 5 calls in a day. It came to a point where it was upsetting my SD4 to the point that she'd cry and cry and cry about how much she misses mommy. For us it's more of- BM is trying to remind SD who is mom. For some people the skids actually want to talk to their BM a lot. It depends on the situation. We handled BM by telling her that she is interrupting our activities and putting SD in a bad mood which at age 4 shoots your entire day pretty much. Then we guilted her by doing the whole: do you want to be the cause of your childs unhappiness??? That stopped her from calling just to ask if SD missed mommy. Shrug. We let her call when she wants- I refuse to answer when she calls my phone unless she calls my fiance first and he isn't home but lets me know she will call. I hand the phone straight to my SD and let them talk.

In our court order BM made sure to include that she could call anytime she felt the need to call. So if we block her from calling, we could get in trouble. BUT- we found the discouraging the calls helps a lot. Now we can go 3 days without hearing from her, which helps a lot with SD's attitude and emotional state.

Side note story: We've had the cops called because my fiance forgot his phone at home. She called the cops claiming we kidnapped her daughter and were running for it. We got home from my future in laws house to find cops in our house and outside on the road. It was traumatic for my SD and I was furious. We had only been gone for 4 hours! I'm pretty sure the cops are getting really sick of BM at this point. Blum 3

sbm014's picture

Hearing about your SD getting upset makes me so thankful that most of the time SS is just as annoyed with BM as we are because he wants go do something else.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Is calling your kids after two days abnormal? When I am out of town I call my son every day.

Its_My_Life_Too's picture

I think it's more the multiple calling in one day that is bothersome, especially if it upsets the skids.