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A week and 2 days...

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 3:53pm

Since SS has seen or physically spoken to BM. She calls, maybe twice since then. SS sees it ringing, he doesn't answer. Happened both time she tried calling. Last night she called, he picked up his phone, saw it was her... and put his phone back down. 20 minutes later she text "I'm going to call you in a minute" he responded immediately "call later, I'm busy". We weren't busy. At all. He was sitting on the floor at our new house playing on his iPad, all by himself. She said "ok, love you" Love u too... "I miss you soooo much"... SS didn't respond. Yup, I think he is over it. She text him earlier in the day yesterday "I am going to see you Friday, no matter what". He never responded to that one either.

She was supposed to pick him up Monday for a few hours... nope. Then Tuesday... nope. She text and told him that her car isn't running, sorry I can't come get you... "yea". That was all he said.

Me thinks he's over it.

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BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 4:14pm

I'm glad she's losing interest too, SS is finally seeing her for what she really is. And, I think he is realizing that DH and I have known and chosen NOT to talk poorly about her. He's smart, and going through this right now is making him even more savvy. His getting a lesson in character for sure!

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 4:12pm

People say that a child always wants his parents. But I'll be totally honest here. We were horrible, desperately poor when I was 11 years old. And this was back before any social services were available - no food stamps, etc. (1950s).

I didn't wish my parents ill, but I used to fantasize about what it would be like to get to live with someone who actually took care of me and provided my basic needs. I'm not talking about lots of "stuff". I just wanted some basics like toothpaste, deodorant and shoes that didn't have huge holes in the bottom.

So I can believe that your SS may really wish to live in a safe environment.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 01/07/2016 - 4:44pm

That's heart breaking.

I think you are right. And the fact that he has lived both lives at the same time for so long has made it easier for him to understand that the way she lives is NOT normal. No one else that we know lives like that. All of his friends parents WORK. Even most of the moms. I think there is ONE family that has a stay at home mom. And the moms don't just WORK, we have careers, educations, goals and aspirations. One mom has been a cocktail waitress, but he knows that she was doing that while she worked her way through school, just graduated and was hired at a school. She is a single mom. SS notices those things. He asks a lot of questions. And I answer them, honestly.

thisisnotmocking's picture

Submitted by thisisnotmocking on Fri, 01/08/2016 - 9:21am

What?! She's been lectured many times by you & gma?!

You're her mother. It's your JOB to put your kid in check and NOT let her treat her father that way. YOU take it from her and tell her why.

I would NEVER have let my kids be such disrespectful little shits to their dad by phone and I paid for them.

thisisnotmocking's picture

Submitted by thisisnotmocking on Fri, 01/08/2016 - 9:17am

She's acting like an entitled little brat. The phone dad pays for and mom lets dd use to treat dad in such a disrespectful and crappy way should be plucked from her little claws. BM can buy & pay for it.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Fri, 01/08/2016 - 9:14am

If this was normal behavior in the past for him, I wouldn't find it weird... but up until about 2 months ago, if she called, he was all over it. He called her back every time, text her back every time. And if he saw it ringing he would answer.

When his dad and I call, he is VERY good about answering or calling back as soon as he sees that he missed the call. It's normal for a lot of kids to behave this way, but not SS. Totally out of character for him.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Fri, 01/08/2016 - 9:44am

Yes Ladyface, he is mad. I wish you guys could see how he is with me right now. He was begging me not to come to work today and stay home with them (they are still on Christmas break). I reminded him that he had plans with his friend in the morning, and BM was picking him up at 2. He threw his arms around me "nooooooo... please don't goooooo". He was laying his head in my lap while we were watching TV last night. My oldest daughter came over and curled up next to me on the other side and he literally pushed her away "get out of here, she is mine". My girls and I have had a conversation about why he is so clingy to me right now, so they don't get their feelings hurt when these things happen. That's how often it happens, I had to actually pull my girls aside and talk to them about it and ask them to please just give him time to adjust to the changes. They understand, and they adore him as much as I do. But he is really REALLY clinging.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Fri, 01/08/2016 - 9:49am

I was just talking to DH about that this morning. I don't want him to get TOO clingy for TOO long. That wouldn't be good either.

We have asked him on several occasions if he wants to go talk to someone. He always says he would rather talk to us. I don't think he is ready to open up yet, but we are keeping an eye on it. When it is time, (probably very soon) we will make him an appointment.