My soon to be SD is extremely jealous of me
Hi Everyone,
I'm so glad I found this site. It's awesome to know I can come here and get advice, vent, and read other posts about similar situations.
My soon to be SD8 just found out her father and I are getting married. She did not take the news well and pretty much screamed and cried for hours.
Her and I have always had a great relationship (so I thought). We give her more attention than you can imagine...She is the center of our worlds on the weekends when she is here. I spend time alone with her shopping, going to the playground and making it all about her. Her daddy is so loving to her and takes time with her alone as well. We also have family time, dinners together, movie night, etc. I just don't understand why us getting married is making her so sick and upset.
I have seen behaviour of jealousy when her father gives me attention, to the point where she will scream and cry. Daddy has never changed his behaviour toward me or her,so I'm happy about that. She hates when we are in another room talking and she can't hear and always has to know what we are talking about. I am pretty easy going and don't usually let it get to me, however, her being upset about our upcoming nuptuals is so upsetting as I thought she would be excited. We have been together 3 yrs and I thought we were past the jealousy thing...HELP!
Does she live with BM? BM
Does she live with BM? BM might be putting stuff in her head and telling her lies about you and DH. If you think this might be going on, research parental alienation syndrome.
She does live with BM. When
She does live with BM. When she's here, she never wants to go home because she says BM doesn't pay attention to her. But, apparently, according to BM, SD is complaining she doesn't like it at our house, misses her and daddy's apartment, and doesn't really like me....Mind you, this girl clings to me like glue, loves on me, and tells me how happy she is her daddy has such a nice girlfriend....She's even referred to me as her step mom already (I've never told her to do that either!)....I believe you are right, BM is probably "planting seeds" in SD's head, without directly saying things. Why can't BM's just be happy when you treat their child with nothing but love, respect and try to be a great role model....
Nope.
She's a lying, manipulative little shit. And guess what?! It only gets WORSE.
I second this! It's so
I second this! It's so refreshing to see how many women on this site are fully aware of the fake little monsters that some eight or nine year old girls can be! It only gets worse from here. The OP should run for the hills!
''We give her more attention
''We give her more attention than you can imagine...She is the center of our worlds on the weekends when she is here. I spend time alone with her shopping, going to the playground and making it all about her. Her daddy is so loving to her and takes time with her alone as well. We also have family time, dinners together, movie night, etc. I just don't understand why us getting married is making her so sick and upset.''
-there is your problem right there. when an SD is the center of all, she needs to be consulted about all. When she doesn't like it, its supposed to go her way whether the adults want it that way or not.
Just wait til she's a teenager. Either she learns that she is not the center of everyone's world, or you deal with her tantrums. We have become too child centric.
You are all right on the
You are all right on the money! How do I stop now though!!??
LOL--I just may have to do
LOL--I just may have to do this! I have to admit, this has been an eye opener. I knew the attention was getting out of control,but seeing it from other's perspective is really enlightening. No more will I sit in the back seat with her! No more will I drive around to three stores looking for a toy she wants! No more will I run to the store just to buy her bagels she likes because the ones we already have aren't good enough! Ugg, I hope it's not too late guys.....
StepAside is right on!! I
StepAside is right on!! I have a SD14 who is the same Jealous type. It got really bad when she moved in with us 2 years ago. Daddy took princess's bait; but thank the lord he woke up!! It did take me almost leaving him; but it was worth it to get him back. She used to glare at me from across the room when we would sit next to each other; it kind of creeped me out. but I stood my ground and let her know that I was the Women and she was the child. Mind you we are still working on this 2 years later; she is a complete bullhead; but I don't back down!
No more will I drive around
No more will I drive around to three stores looking for a toy she wants! No more will I run to the store just to buy her bagels she likes because the ones we already have aren't good enough
No, no, no. I wouldn't even do this for my own child. That is how you create a spoiled, entitled monster!!!
this little girl is just
this little girl is just starting the evil stepkid process! Be very carfeul how you tread from now on and whatever you do ,, stand your ground! your husband needs to also more so. dont cater to her needs , you are only rewarding her bad behaviour. She has had all the attention in the world and you are about to change this by getting married. I was envolved with my then SS since he was 4,, did everything for him , more than his BM ever has done,,,he is now 13,, needless to say me and his father arent together anymore as of this year,,,, and guess what ,,,, its because of one rotten spoilt entilied disrespectful little shit!,,,oh and his father not doing anything about it! Same as you ,,, if we were in another room and SS coulndt hear what we were talking about ,, tantrum time (and he was 12)! If his dad showed me affection,,, SS would vandelise my belongings, and the list goes on. Well,,,, the kid won didnt he,, he finally got rid of me after all the years of me driving him to school , taking him places , buying him things etc