Just so upset
An old friend of mine got married at the weekend. She looked amazing and just so happy and seeing the pics has really made me realise what I've been missing out on. They looked like they were best friends and were having an amazing party and were so in love and I thought back to how myself and dh used to be like this also. Now it's dh and ss every weekend and I'm the outsider, the moody one while he gives ss nauseating attention all weekend and ss won't play with any other kids while he is here. Actually he cried last week when I tried to force h and sat away from the kids on his own. Then dh just went and played with him instead. This is the same kid who the teacher has highlighted has difficulties working in groups with other kids. Is it any wonder when he's hanging from dadddyyyy all weekend with no other interaction with kids?? And when I mentioned it to dh albeit in a pissed off tone "I don't care what you think". I've just been thinking about all of these little things while looking at my old friends wedding pics on fb and mourning the end of my marraige it's really tough 
I think the thing that got me
I think the thing that got me the most was when he said on fb "I'm marrying my princess today" and I thought she is his princess, he idolizes her and that's all I've ever wanted
instead I have someone who has no problem ignoring me for one whole week, like literally not saying a word to me in this time (happens at least once or twice a month) working late and even not coming home at all last Friday with no explanation. it was like a slap in the face, I realise that dh hasn't felt that way for me in at least 2 years if not longer
There is a quote I love/hate
There is a quote I love/hate for its truth:
A girl marries she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
OMG how true.
OMG how true.
He was out all night and came
He was out all night and came home with no explanation. He ignores you for a week about every three weeks, effectively 3 months out of the year. Three months.
Your marriage is dead and rotting. No chance of revival. Go and do better and start by finding a guy without children.
Hopefully this will pass. My
Hopefully this will pass.
My SS used to be like that. My DW was not just this kid's Mom, she was his Geisha. She entertained him, played with him, cuddled him, layed down to bed with him, etc.
It was truly sickening.
Fortunately, DW had a HUGE wake up call one winter day after a heavy snowfall. I was shoveling the snow and DW came out to help me. SS came out too and was all "Mom! Look at me! Mom look at this snowball I made! Mom! Mom! MOM!"
And then....it happened....I swear it was like magic!
My neighbor's five year old kid in his bright red "Cars" snowsuit came over with a big smile on his face. He didn't say a word but looked like he wanted to play with SS.
SS, - I sh*t you not - Ran and hid in the backyard and stayed there until the kid was gone.
That was a "lightbulb" moment for DW. She realized then and there that something was wrong with SS and purposely started signing him up for extracurricular activities, play dates, etc.
My SS is still socially stunted, but he doesn't run away from little kids anymore.
Remember your wedding day and
Remember your wedding day and how happy that day was? And special? That's what these couples are experiencing but make no mistake that they also have their issues. I've learned over the years that people put on a front in front of family and friends and the more they try to show how happy they are, really the more problems they have behind closed doors.
My friends E and L, seem like the perfect couple. They have two daughters and E has one daughter from a previous marriage. I've known about the issues brought on with her and that's never easy but they seem like they have battled these issues together and that their love has never been affected by these issues.
E (husband) came over and totally just spilled everything. They are a totally broken couple. I won't go into the details because there are too many. They need help in every way imaginable after 9 years of marriage. It's unbelievable. E is always posting such great things about their relationship on Facebook and she never comments/likes which was always weird, but posting on social media about relationships is a big no no.
Just work on making it better... One day at a time.
No not back with dh. We have
No not back with dh. We have set a date for moving from the house (within one month but I'm hoping two weeks). He has been working late and then going to his room so I haven't seen him really or spoken to him so very little conflict occurring at the moment which is good.
In my worst relationship, I
In my worst relationship, I was constantly posting things on facebook to make us look like a happy couple.
I am actually happy with FDH, and now rarely post anything about us on fb, more than pictures of us out and about on the motorcycle.
Not everything that shines is
Not everything that shines is gold.But I get what you say and how you feel.I was in a quite loveless marriage for many years and one of my wake up calls was actually that a friend of mine who was not working and had one (I have 3 AND was working)got this lovely card for V Day with a massage voucher.On this card it said how much he appreciated her etc. That caused me a lot of painful thinking and finally the realisation that I want something more and better.It took me ages to feel I really deserve something better, but that sitauation was the start of it.
But this is why you have
But this is why you have found it so hard to leave this guy. You have kept kissing a frog and expecting him to somehow magically turn into a prince. Love doesn't work like that. The real life guy has to start off with a few more princely qualities than your guy has, I'm afraid.